Life As I Live It

2012-01-17T10:28:00.003-07:00

This article it amazing- seriously exactly how I feel. I am so glad I am not alone. A must read:

DON'T Carpe Deim

change

2012-01-10T12:06:00.002-07:00

This new year started out with many new changes for me. The biggest is our ward was finally split. It was about 700 people which is huge! Our family was put in the "new " ward which means all people are automatically released from their callings which means I am no longer in the Relief Society Presidency.

I must say I have felt a huge range of emotion over this. First- relief. Serious relief. Almost like a huge load has been lifted from my shoulders. Just of time and stress and work which is selfish but it took a lot with a HUGE ward to be in that calling. But, I also feel a little bit of loss. Loss for the women that I will miss who are in the other ward now. Loss at the mantel I was blessed with while having the calling and being more sensitive to needs of others. Not being able to visit the women in the ward- I really enjoyed that part of getting to know them each better. I also feel a little misplaced- As I was saying my prayers the other night I started going through a list of women I always pray for and then wondered if I still should. And then decided that I should. I love them and care for them so it is OK to pray for friends and people you love, right? I feel extremely grateful- grateful that Tina had enough faith in me to call me as one of her counselors and give me the opportunity to let my testimony grow more than it ever has during the last two years. Grateful to have met so many amazing women and experience so many spiritual things. And- I feel excited. Excited to get my life back in order. To have a little more time to try and get organized and spend with my family. Excited for the future and what it holds. Excited for my new ward. Excited for the new year.

Just Dance

2012-01-07T21:09:00.005-07:00

(Cooper, Cannon and aunt Becca getting their Groove on!)

Savannah got Just dance 3 for the Wii for Christmas from Grammy. So- my mom and Becca were in town this week from Phoenix and we had a just dance party one night.
(Grammy, Savannah and Ava, the dancing queens!)

It was so fun. We had three rounds and then the winners from each round had a dance off.
(Grammy, Cooper and Ryan for the Championship- Ryan won!)

Much to my surprise the dance off was between Cooper, Grammy and RYAN! It was hilarious and so much fun.
(Look how serious Cannon is! He really gets into it!)

Cannon is a huge fan of Just Dance. I loves it and freaks out if he can't dance to each song. So- we give him a fake wii remote so he thinks he is participating:)

Luka loves to do his break dancing moves during the songs he isn't dancing too. It is awesome.
(This is me with my dancing face!)

It is a really fun family game. We had a blast!

New Year's Eve 2011

2012-01-01T19:49:00.006-07:00

This year I decided to throw a New Year's Eve Party. It is a little out of my comfort zone but I wanted to have some fun. It has been a tough year- and I needed to do something different.
(Michelle, Brooke and Stephanie looking hot!)

I decided to have an 80's theme. People had to come dressed in their 80's gear. When I was getting ready and doing my hair I couldn't believe I used to curl my hair like that every day and use so much hair spray. When my kids saw it they were NOT impressed. Cooper asked me to never fix my hair like that again! Cannon looked at me with the biggest eyes and then rubbed his head. It was so funny!

(Damon and Catherine)

We had 80's music playing. People brought some awesome appetizers and desserts. We ended up with 11 couples which was perfect! It ended up being a blast and I was so glad I did it.

I did a hot chocolate bar, sodas and then had champagne flutes and martinellis for the midnight toast. I also had a bowl of mints and gum so we would have fresh breath for that midnight kiss with our sweetie!

I had a few games on the agenda- a fun mixer game that involved professions and funny descriptions of them. Then the best one I think was the white elephant. I secretly told all the wives to bring something that their husbands loved but they hated all wrapped up!
(Finn with Brian's treasured sunglasses on)

It was so funny to watch the men start opening the gifts and see the other guys face when it was his favorite sunglasses or shoes or old T-shirt.

We laughed so hard.

Some of them got a little ticked but all in fun and by rule they got to take their original gift home. It was fun!
(Jenny and Dan)

We also did a few minute to win it games. Cookie on the face was awesome- you have put the cookie on your forehead and try to get it in your mouth (without using your hands) in one minute.
(Damon did a good job!)

I loved watching the face movements. We did all the guys first and then all the girls.

We also did a golf ball one where you try to stack three golf balls on each other and they have to stand for 3 seconds within one minute. That was HARD. They guys did it 2 against each other- I think 2 ended up doing it!
(Dave and Jen)

Everyone one looked so awesome dressed up in their 80's gear. There were mullets, leg warmers, a lot of bright colors, pegged pants, BIG HAIR, bright make up and jean jackets!
(Catherine and Marcus were smokin!)

We are so lucky to have great friends in this neighborhood.
(Amber, Me and E'Shell)

I had a great time and hope they did too. It was just what I needed to start a New Year off right:)

Christmas 2011

2011-12-29T10:12:00.005-07:00

Christmas morning was wonderful! This kids slept in until 7:30. At this point they were all awake except Cannon so- we woke Cannon up. He was so funny. He still didn't really know what was going to happen but he could tell it was something exciting by they way his siblings were acting. And- when we all ran out to the family room and he saw the presents from Santa he was so excited too.

Everyone was very happy with their gifts!

Cannon got a Benny the Bull to ride and a cape and mask.

He is really into dressing up and being some kind of hero/villain depending on his mood. He also got a really cool art easel that everyone has enjoyed.

Luka wanted all star wars things this year and he got it- along with a cool yellow bike thing. He was very happy and in star wars heaven!

Cooper got an IPOD shuffle. Santa was sneaky and hid it in the bottom of his stocking so it was the last thing he found. He also got a cool skate board ramp- which his mom has told him over and over to wear his helmet with!

Savannah got an awesome Nikon camera that she is learning to use. She is willing to take any one's photo or video. She also got lots of headbands and earrings. She is ready to accessorize any outfit!

Santa was also very kind to mom and dad- we got tickets to go see the Broadway play Wicked in August. We can't wait!

We had an amazing brunch with grandma's awesome biscuits and gravy! Then we went to church where they announced they will be splitting our GIGANTIC ward next week. It will be a welcome and interesting change. Our 4th ward split in 4 years of living here.

After church we opened presents from Grammy, Becca and Julie. These presents were a big hit too!

Cannon and Luka loved the guns aunt Julie got them.

Cannon was hilarious trying to put his gun in his pants like Luka.

He couldn't quite fit them and unzipped his pants to try and fit it but it still didn't work.

Savannah loved getting Just Dance 3 for the Wii from Grammy! We will have a sing off for Family home evening next week:)

Cooper loves his magic kit from Grammy. He has been practicing daily and is getting really good. I love watching Luka's face when Cooper does the tricks. He is so amazed!

Later in the afternoon we played fun games and laughed so hard. This is what I LOVE doing with my mom and sisters. I made an awesome Mexican food dinner if I do say so myself. It was the perfect Christmas (aside from my terrible sinus infection:(.

The most important thing is our gratitude for the birth of our Saviour. We are so blessed to have the knowledge of the gospel and so grateful for Jesus Christ and his life and then sacrifice for us.

Remember......

2011-12-27T20:10:00.002-07:00

One year ago today Cooper fell 15 ft.

He lived.

We love him.

It has been a LONG year with high peaks and low valleys.

You can read about his fall here.

Christmas Eve 2011

2011-12-27T09:05:00.008-07:00

(All the grand kids with Grammy on Christmas Eve. Cannon is in the back screaming his head off. He had gotten in a sword fight and hit grandpa. His sword was taken away and he was so mad! and it was impossible trying to get the kids to focus for a cute picture.)

This year for Christmas Eve my mom, Rod and Becca were here from Arizona. This was a LAST minute surprise that we were very excited about. So we had Christmas Eve celebrations at my house. We had 15 people= our family, Julie and Ava, my mom, Rod, Becca, Eric, My grandpa Ken and his wife Donna and Donna's daughter, Janice.

One of my favorite things to do it cook- so I spent a lot of the day in the kitchen. But I don't even think it was to cook, I think I was eating a lot too! My mom made her AMAZING orange rolls. I made a pork roast, Julie made twice-baked potatoes, I made asparagus, salad, strawberries and a couple of appetizers to have before hand. Then we had lots of treats the neighbors had brought for dessert and I made Virginia fudge (my friend Brooke's recipe, SO GOOD). We had a special limeade drink, and egg nogg, and sprite, and martinellis). I think it is safe to say we ate well and were so full by the end of the night!

We had our tradition nativity.

This year Ava was Mary,

Cooper was Joseph, Savannah was the angel,

Luka and Cannon were Shepherds so we had no wise men. Sometimes that's how it goes.

AND- to get Luka and Cannon to participate I told them they could use their swords as shepherd staffs if they didn't hit anyone. They were good until the end.

Then, Cannon started stabbing the poor lama we had and it was hilarious. I don't know what he was thinking. Oh well- we all got a good laugh. Boys will be boys!

We then had a kid talent show.

Cooper did Karate moves, Savannah played the piano, Ava gave a poem she had memorized. It was really cute.

I was so happy my sweet grandpa came. He doesn't get out too often anymore. It causes him great anxiety. He just sat and smiled so big. My favorite part was hugging him tight and telling him I loved him and him doing the same. That is what Christmas is about to me- LOVE.

We TRIED to take a family picture- but you know how that goes with FOUR kids who are excited for Christmas. It was Chaos.

My kids got ready for bed and left treats out for Santa. Cooper wrote the cutest note to him and told how he loved snowie our elf on the shelf and was going to miss him. It was pretty easy getting the kids to bed. Then, we enjoyed staying up with my mom and Becca and creating the magic of Christmas.

Luka's Preschool Program

2011-12-21T22:19:00.004-07:00

(Luka is so lucky he gets to go to preschool with his cousin Eli!)

We have been through an interesting time this year with preschool. I couldn't find one. Then I finally found one far away and made a deposit. Then one opened up right in the neighborhood so I thought I would support it and go, and it was so close. So I lost my other deposit and had to pay a new one. Luka went- it was hard. He ran home once. That is his personality though. Then the week before Thanksgiving they sent a note home saying they were closing at the end of Dec (that is the short version). To say the least it has been DISCOURAGING.

But, things happen for a reason, right! We were so blessed and found a GREAT preschool that took him and 3 other kids from his other preschool right in and it is super close too. AND- my sister happened to know the teacher, which helped me feel a little more comfortable. Now, this is the really crazy part- Luka LOVES it. He never fights me on going. He has totally blossomed in it- he has only been going for 3 weeks but it has been amazing. I am so happy.

His teacher had a program even though she had 4 new students. I was so amazed at how much he had learned so quickly. I would say more than he had learned in 3 months at the other school. He has never been a performer but He actually sang the songs and smiled during it. I felt so much relief and peace. I am so happy about this.

The program was so funny.

I love watching how each child is in their own little world performing. They did sign language, counting and singing. They were so proud of themselves. It was great!

Temple Square Lights

2011-12-21T22:07:00.004-07:00

We didn't make it to see the lights at temple square the last 2 years because Cannon was to little for all the cold so this year I put it at the top of the list. We hauled the kids down and it was PACKED. It was COLD. But it was beautiful and FUN for about 10 minutes, HA HA. Cannon was a little miserable and couldn't quite get into the spirit but we had fun and I love seeing the lights there.

The kids really like seeing the different types of manger scenes and I like to try and get them to guess how many little lights are on one tree. They guess from 69 (Luka's favorite number for some reason) to one million. It is so funny.

I was really fun to have Julie and Ava with us too. It wouldn't be the same without family!

I do have to say the most entertaining part was when we were leaving two cars started fighting over a parking spot right in front of the temple. Hundreds of people were walking and standing there to cross the street. It got to the point where one guy got out of his car to beat up the other guy until he moved out of the way. It was so uplifting! HA HA

Sapphire

2011-12-21T21:54:00.004-07:00

(Sapphire, Candice (her sister), Andrea (Colin's Girlfriend) and Savannah) She is telling the proposal story!

My brother-in-law, Casey, is getting married in Jan. I was so excited to help throw a wedding shower for his fiance, Sapphire, a couple of weeks ago. Sapphire is such an awesome girl and we are so excited to have her in our family! She is so much fun, beautiful and spunky.
(Savannah and Cooper had to come to the shower. They love to be with their aunties!)

They kids absolutely love her too. She is a perfect fit for Casey and I am so excited for them to get married and start this stage of life.
( I had to spice up the shower with some fun lingerie!)

Sapphire is from Florida and comes from a family of all girls which will be good for Casey. She is getting her masters in Social Work so she DEFINITELY fits in with us Robinson women:) One thing I love about Sapphire is that she smiles a lot and when she looks at Casey I tell she really loves him- that is SO important to me. Casey has a special place in my heart. I have known him since he was a little boy! I know she will take good care of him.
(Family listening to the proposal story)

(Checking out the presents!)

The shower was fun and a good place for Sapphire to meet a lot of Casey's relatives before the wedding.

(Sweet baby Ella, I can't wait to have some nieces and nephews: HINT HINT)

The Fat Man 2011

2011-12-21T21:35:00.003-07:00

This year our visit to the Fat Man (AKA: Santa) was out in West Valley at the Arts Center. It was awesome. They were having a special event with all these cool gingerbread houses and trees. There was a boutique and choirs singing. And- it was a hidden nugget because no one was really there. It was free to see Fat Man and his wife and they took a free picture of you- Mega deal!

How could we pass this up? We loaded up the kids + Roxie (AKA: Abbey/ vannah's BFF) and headed to the West Side. It was quite fun. I was excited to see how the kids would respond this year and what they would ask for. I love to see how excited Cooper gets, and nervous. Maybe because he knows he isn't the angel child and he is a little scared that Santa might call him on it (HEE HEE)

First was cute Savannah- She politely asked for a camera. Next, Abbey- asking for American Girl Doll stuff.

Third Cooper. He was very macho. Then jumped right on Santa's lap. He was very shy and humble. Saying he wanted to be surprised this year. (major surprise to me:)

Luka tip toed up to Santa. Absolutely would not get on his lap but did stand close enough to make sure Santa could hear him and said "I want star wars stuff" with a big smile and " I have been really, really good this year" and I know Santa didn't understand a word of what he said but smiled and told him to get a candy cane. Lastly, Cannon walked up with a big smile. He let me set him right on Santa's lap and looked right at his face with great interest. Santa asked him what he wanted for Christmas. Cannon had no idea what to say. But, he said "I am a GOOD BOY!" with a BIG smile. It was so cute.

Next, we walked through the exhibits and saw lots of cool stuff. I about had a nervous breakdown from my kids almost knocking over million dollar trees and gingerbread houses but we made it out alive! I also only had to buy two bracelets and two walking sticks- yes walking sticks (more weapons!)

It was a fun afternoon though and got us in the Christmas spirit!

Best Christmas Cookie Ever

2011-12-16T08:56:00.001-07:00

You must try this. But beware- you will GAIN WEIGHT because you can't stop eating them once you start. They are SO good. Seriously dangerous.

This recipe has been featured in a post on The Recipe Girl blog: Best New Christmas Cookie This Season.

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Chocolate Peppermint Bark Cookies

Yield: 36 pieces

Prep Time: 30 min + chill time

Cook Time: 30 min

Best Christmas treat I tried in 2009, and it's been on my holiday cookie tray every year since...

Ingredients:

2 cups all purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 large egg yolk
6 ounces bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, chopped (or use chocolate chips)
1 cup chopped Hershey's Candy Cane Kisses (or use crumbled candy canes)
2 ounces white chocolate

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Spray 13x9x2-inch metal baking pan with nonstick spray. Line bottom of pan with long strip of 9-inch-wide parchment paper, leaving overhang on both short sides of pan.

2. Whisk flour and salt in medium bowl. Using electric mixer, beat butter in large bowl until creamy, about 2 minutes. Gradually beat in sugar. Continue beating until mixture is light and fluffy, stopping occasionally to scrape down sides of bowl, about 3 minutes. Beat in vanilla, then egg yolk. Gradually add flour mixture, beating on low speed just to blend.

3. Drop dough by tablespoonfuls into prepared baking pan, spacing evenly. Using moistened fingertips, press dough to form even layer over bottom of pan. Pierce dough all over with fork.

4. Bake cookie base until light golden brown and slightly puffed and edges begin to come away from sides of pan, about 30 minutes. Place pan on rack; immediately sprinkle bittersweet chocolate over. Let stand until chocolate softens, about 3 minutes. Using small offset spatula, spread bittersweet chocolate over top of cookie in thin even layer. Immediately sprinkle chopped candy cane kisses over (or candy canes).

5. Stir white chocolate in medium metal bowl set over saucepan of simmering water until melted and smooth. If it's too tough and thick to stir, add a tiny drizzle of vegetable oil or 1/2 teaspoon of shortening to thin it out. Remove from over water. Using fork, drizzle white chocolate all over cookies. Chill until white chocolate is set, about 30 minutes.

6. Using paper overhang as aid, lift cookie from pan and transfer to work surface. Using large knife, cut cookie into irregular pieces.

Tips:

*DO AHEAD Can be made 1 week ahead. Store in refrigerator (or freezer) in airtight containers between layers of waxed paper or parchment paper. Can be stored in the freezer for several weeks.

Random rambling.

2011-12-11T23:16:00.004-07:00

I almost snapped this week- almost. I have those moments you know. We all do- even if you won't admit it I will. Everything gets so stressful and complicated. I know I make it 100 times worse than it is too- life. With my expectations and agreeing to do so many things and then everything starts rolling in and it is crazy. I can't even breathe sometimes. But, I survive. I breathe. Even if it means crying and crying and feeling a little sorry for myself.

I especially hate when I get sick in the midst of it all too. That's what happened. I got ear aches, a cough and bad head aches. It makes me feel so human. Then sad things happened to people I love and when I can't control that I feel so helpless. I hate pain. It really stinks.

I was talking to a really smart person on Friday. Someone that knows my brain pretty well. He asked me why I like to help people. Why I care so much about my friends and family members, especially if it complicates my life more and adds so much more stress, heart ache and pain. As I have reflected on this I have a million different answers. Some come easy, some come hard. I don't really have a one lined simple answer. But, the older I get there is one word that can be the fast answer- LOVE. As I age this word has evolved so much and become so many different things with so many different people and it becomes complicated and beautiful all in one breath. But I'd like to think that although LOVE is hard and draining it is fulfilling and easy, it is wonderful and enduring. LOVE is binding and soft. LOVE is happy and sad, it is funny and mean. LOVE is why I do what I do everyday. Even if it makes weeks like last week so hard. Even if it makes me cry and crazy. Even if it breaks my heart and wonder why I have a Jerry Springer family. LOVE- I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Luka's First Friend Bday Party

2011-12-04T20:44:00.005-07:00

Luka was so excited for his bday this year because I told him he could have a "friend" party. He has seen Cooper and Savannah have birthday parties with friends so he couldn't wait. He wanted to invite his soccer team and a couple of other friends. He decided on having it at the Kangaroo Zoo- a bounce house that is really close by.

So- he ended up inviting 7 friends and his siblings and his cousin Ava (sadly she got sick and couldn't come). The day of his party arrived and he was so excited he didn't know what to do with himself. He requested a Batman cake so I ordered one from our favorite bakery and it turned out so cute!

We decided to have all the kids meet at the bounce house. We stayed there for an hour and 45 minutes then we took them back to our house for cake/ice cream, presents and play time. First- let me just say that Cooper and Savannah were the best helpers at the Bounce house. They took the little boys all over and held their hands and helped them climb up the big slides. The little boys were only 3 and 4 and it was some of their first "parties" to attend so they were timid. But they fell right into step with my kids and had a BLAST. I couldn't believe how good they all were and there we no fights:)

When we got to our house they were all so cute singing to Luka. AND- I loved how big Luka's smile was. He was in heaven. I also loved all of our black lips and tongues from the black frosting on the cake!

When it was present time it was so cute to watch all of the kids take their present to Luka and get so excited when he opened it. They would ask him if he loved it and if it was his favorite. He would always say "this is just what I wanted, it is awesome, my favorite!"

and then get up and hug them. I LOVE the age of 4. So innocent and exciting.

The boys had so much fun playing upstairs too and were so easily entertained.

When it was time for each one to go Luka had a little party gift for them. He would hand it to them and hug them. I loved it. It was so fun.

He was so pleased with his birthday and party this year. He thanked me so many times. And, if Luka gives you a hug and thanks you that is big stuff!

Thanksgiving 2011

2011-11-27T10:12:00.002-07:00

Life is always full of unexpected twists and turns. The older I get the more I know to plan on things going exactly as planned!

This year we had planned for months to go to Denver, CO with all of Ryan's family and visit his brother Zac, and his family and his sister Chalyse and her family and her new baby, Sebastian. We were so excited! However- last week Luka and Cannon both got croup really bad. There was one night Luka had a really hard time breathing. Then there was one night Cannon had a REALLY hard time breathing. To the point where the next morning I took him right in to his dr. They gave him steroids right away and it helped open is throat right away. He continually had a fever off and on and a hard time breathing for a few more days and a TERRIBLE cough. He would even throw up sometimes he coughed so hard. Luckily by Sunday night they were both feeling better though so we were a go to still leave early Wed. morning for Denver. THEN on Monday night Luka started saying his tummy hurt. At about 10 pm he started crying really hard. Ryan and I had him sit on the couch with us. Suddenly he sat up and screamed and then threw up everywhere (spaghetti, YUCK). It was so awful, and sad. Ryan put him in the tub while I had the lovely job of cleaning up and dry heaving while I did it. I tried to clean the leather couch (that I had just paid to have cleaned from Cannon throwing up all over it about 6 weeks ago). Poor Luka, he looked so pale and sad. He slept with me. He didn't throw up again that night- but at 6 am Savannah came into my room and said her tummy hurt- she then threw up.

All day Tuesday they both felt yucky. Savannah got better quickly but Luka had terrible diarrhea. So Ryan and I decided there was no way were driving to Denver and risking getting all of our family sick or risking driving for 9 hours and having other kids start throwing up in the car! We were all so sad. Cooper threatened to walk to Denver- he cried so hard. Savannah cried and was so mad. I felt so bad.

We tried to make the weekend fun, in between some sick tummies- mainly Luka continually being sick on and off.

Thursday was definitely an unusual but great Thanksgiving. Julie and I got up and went for a great run. We even made gobble noises for our turkey trot. I was so thankful to have her by my side. I love my sister and it is great to be with her. It was a beautiful morning and we caught the end of the sunrise- it was beautiful. Having grown up far away from relatives I liked spending Thanksgiving with just my immediate family. I felt it was special. I think it was an adjustment for Ryan. We took our family out to a fun dinner at Tucanos. The kids had a fun time. We ate A LOT. We had fun and I felt VERY THANKFUL for being with my own beautiful family. I also enjoyed seeing that the restaurant was packed with all kinds of different families too that were enjoying themselves. It was also very nice not to have to cook, shop or clean up!
The weather here was also amazing for this time of year. The kids played outside a lot. I took a lovely nap. We played games. We rented a ton of movies!

On Friday I went shopping with Julie. The crowds weren't bad at all. My great savings- 3 pairs of jeans that would regularly cost $420.00 for $80. That's right, and I bought them with birthday money my mom gave me- so they were actually free for me! Thanks mom:) I also did a ton of shopping on line with GREAT deals. I feel a little better about Christmas now. Savannah also helped me design our Christmas card and get that ordered. Ryan took the kids to the movie Hugo while I stayed home with Cannon. They all loved it and I loved being with my little guy!

On Sat. we decorated our house for Christmas. That was fun and crazy. Our tree is 16 feet tall so the kids LOVE climbing the ladder and putting on the ornaments. There were a few fights (that is normal right!) but mostly fun and excitement, and lots of "I remember this ornament, I remember this decoration, I love this one!" It made me glad for traditions and time with my family. Then we went to dinner at Apple Bees. The kids got free meal coupons there for getting straight A's last quarter and even got an extra one so Luka's meal was free too:) and aunt Julie came so that was extra fun!

Our weekend didn't turn out as planned but it was wonderful. I love being with my husband and kids. I love watching my kids be together and have fun together. I love counting my blessings and seeing how blessed I am. I am amazed at all I have. So much more than I deserve- it is so humbling. I am so Thankful!

Luka's Birthday Interview

2011-11-19T08:33:00.002-07:00

Luka turns FOUR.........

If you could have one super-power, what would it be? I would be Batman

· What was the last chore you did? Pick up Lego's

· What is your favorite song? Families Together Forever

· What's your favorite food? Spaghetti

· What's the nicest thing you've done for someone in your family lately? Share

· What makes you mad? When somebody kicks you

· Where would you like to go on vacation next year? To the mountains

· Who's the smartest person in your family? Luka Why? Cooper helps me and I'm bigger now

· How are you like your dad? I don't sleep with covers

· How are you like your mom? Sometimes I do sleep with covers

· What's one thing that Dad always said to you? It's time for dinner

· What's one thing that you and Dad did together that you'll always remember? Cuddle and sleep together and then I'm not scared

· If you had a million dollars, what's the first thing you'd buy? Kitty Cat

· How do you know that I (mom) love you? You hug me

· What's your favorite cereal? Cocoa Krispies

· What's your favorite movie? Despicable Me

· What's your favorite vegetable? Carrots

· What personal item that you would never give away? My mean guys

· What's your favorite game? Mean Guys

· What's your favorite book? Cat In The Hat

· What food would you eat every day if you could? Ham Sandwich

· If you could choose a different name, what would it be? Cooper

· What's the scariest thing you've ever done? Sleep by myself

· If you could eat at any restaurant for the rest of your life, where would it be? Cafe Rio

· What's your favorite candy bar? Star Burst

· What's the best age to be? 6

· What's your favorite holiday? Christmas

· What's the best present you ever got? Dart Guns

· What's your greatest word of wisdom at age 4? Always tell people thank you

Cousin Ella

2011-11-09T14:01:00.003-07:00

We have a new cousin ELLA. We couldn't love her more. I loved watching all of the kids meet her.

They each loved her so much.

Cooper loved how tiny she was. He said he couldn't remember his little brothers being that little.

Savannah got to feed her. She is so excited to have another girl around!

Cannon couldn't get enough of holding baby Ella. He would hold her, go play, then come back in like 3 minutes and say "my turn". The first time he held her he said "oh WOW" it was so cute. He really loves her!

Me with cute Ella. I could hold her all day long. She is so sweet.

Grandparents show

2011-11-09T13:16:00.004-07:00

Luka had a grandparents show at Preschool right before Halloween. They combined it with their Halloween party so they could wear their cute costumes during the show. He was so lucky to have grandma and grandpa Robinson come from Heber and grandma and grandpa Clark come from Logan.

I was a little nervous because Luka is not a big performer. He is stubborn and one day he is all for it and one day he isn't. So- for the few days before I had to get him excited for the show- but not too much, because then he would get nervous and say it was stupid, and he wasn't going to do it. A very fine balance:)
(Luka likes to sit by all the ladies!)
Anyway- his program was really cute. The morning of he decided he didn't really want to dress up so he only wore his Indian pants and not other part of the costume but I wasn't going to push him. For some reason my video sound is awful- you can't really hear anything. Sorry. But he sang cute songs.
(Luka with grandma Nan decorating a mini pumpkin)
Then the teachers had the kids do a few cute crafts with their grandparents which I thought was really cute.
(Luka with grandpa Scott decorating a paper pumpkin) For some sad reason I didn't get pictures of him with his Robinson grand parents.

Then there were treats and playing. Luka really liked showing his grandparents around his preschool. We are so grateful for the amazing grandparents he has. We love their support and kindness. He has three awesome grandma's and grandpa's!

Halloween 2011

2011-11-02T09:45:00.005-06:00

A vampire, two cheer leaders, Dash, and a wild Indian!

Halloween this year blessed us with perfect weather- something we don't always get in Utah. It was clear and about 60 degrees. Ryan wore shorts when he took the kids around. I always stay home and pass out the candy so I can see everyone that way and stay warm:). This year Cannon got to go- he LOVED it. He was the cutest Dash ever. He would say "trick or teat" and then yell "thank you" so loud. And if you are over 50 he says "thank you grandma/grandpa" this really makes the other kids laugh their heads off. He was so excited to go to each house and would not let anyone help him at all up and down the stairs.

He was a trooper but about 1/2 way through Ryan brought him home- he was worn out (They also emptied their buckets because they were full and filled them all the way up again. The amount of candy they got is disgusting). I changed him into his pajamas and before I knew it he was snoring on the couch with a candy bar in his hand. I am not kidding. It was so cute. He was in bed asleep by 7:30! Ryan and the other kids were pretty hard core. They went out for almost 3 hours. Our neighborhood is awesome and we can go to almost every house. It is fun to stop and talk to everyone. And- this year one family was giving hay rides around the block so the kids stopped and did that too. I think I passed out about 10 pounds of candy. One thing that does bother me is when people come here that I don't recognize just because they know it is a "good" neighborhood to trick or treat in. They drop their kids off by they car load. Whatever-

It was a great Halloween. My kids were happy and had a great time. Ryan is always awesome at taking them out as long as they want no matter what the weather is like. When Luka got home he said "my legs are broken" because he was so tired! Ryan said Luka kept falling and wiping out- that his candy would fly everywhere but he would jump right up and keep going and having a great time- that is Luka for you!

Cookie decorating tradition.....

2011-10-31T18:21:00.004-06:00

We love holidays around here because it means aunt Julie makes her wonderful sugar cookies for us to decorate!

This year Cannon was especially interested in the whole process.

He ate so much dough I thought he was going to be sick for sure- but he wasn't!

There were tons of pumpkins and bats to decorate.

My favorite part is always eating them:)

Thanks Aunt Julie for making such fun memories!

catching up

2011-10-29T18:32:00.000-06:00

I really feel overwhelmed at all the things I haven't blogged about but I feel like I need to share for my journal. Life is so busy- crazy busy. I am sure everyone can relate but for some reason I feel especially busy lately- I don't know why. Things to remember:

*Aunt Chalyse had the most beautiful baby boy on Oct. 8th. His name is Sebastian. He is so cute. I seriously can't wait to hold him. We are going to Denver for Thanksgiving so we can meet this special boy. We have been so anxious for him to get here and be a part of our family. He is very lucky to be born to such an amazing mother.

*Cousin Dylan was born on Oct. 6th- just missing Cannon's birthday by one day. She is so cute. Her mom is the most crafty, creative woman ever so Dylan will always be in style like her sister. We can't wait to meet her!

*Cousin Ella was born on Oct. 24th. She is so tiny and small. Very beautiful. She lives right up the street from us so we expect to hold her and hug her so much. When I held her I got a lump in my throat knowing that from now on I have to hold other peoples babies- no more for me! But I loved shopping for her- baby girl clothes are the best.

*Cooper finished the soccer season doing amazing. He really improved and learned a lot. I know next year he will be ready for competition for sure- he seemed a little bored at points during the season. He really improved on passing and assisting- which is good for him. He usually likes all the glory. He did win one really close game for them with an awesome goal.

*Luka was pretty wishy washy with soccer for his first season. He is hot and cold a lot on things. He did ok though. Finally on his last game he got fired up and got 3 goals. Maybe in the spring he will be more motivated.

*Savannah's soccer season has been interesting. Competition takes a lot of time and commitment, which she has no problem with. She loves soccer. She runs, she kicks the ball 100 times to practice in our yard. She is willing to go the extra mile to learn and get better. She definitely improved a ton over the fall season. She is very fast and had a couple of fast breaks where she shot for a goal and almost got it- the goalie was lucky to stop them:) We have learned how to communicate with her coach and have settled a lot of problems and worries. He has come a long way and really tamed down he coaching. All of the girls on her team are from different towns and schools so she has loved making the new friendships. After one game I had a late night for all of them and had them over for pizza, we did glitter toes, my friend Brooke did two crafts for them, we had treats, they acted wild like 9 and 10 year old girls should and we watched Hocus Pocus. It was so fun to see them just having fun! I loved it. Her team was put in the hardest division around. They improved so much though- they went from losing by 20 in the first game to winning a game and tying their last game. It was so fun to see their excitement and dedication. I am really proud of Savannah.

*I had my 35th bday. I have really come to hate aging for some reason. My face is looking old. You never think it will happen to you- but it does. Weird. My friends and family all spoiled me with dinners out, lunches out, thoughtful gifts and Julie and Ryan made me an amazing dinner. My favorite was the Cake Julie got me from Parson's Bakery- to die for! And- Ryan really spoiled me this year and bought me a treadmill- so great for the winter around here.

*Being a mom is really hard. Very overwhelming. When it is my "profession", and I realize the important job it is I can hardly breathe when I notice all the things I do wrong. I really feel like I don't know how to be a mom a lot of the time- my kids are so full of life, so passionate and stubborn. It is really interesting and busy. I LOVE being a mom, don't get me wrong- but we are just thrown into motherhood- no manual, no training, and when we think we have something figured out, we realize all of our children are different so you can't parent them the same. It is so confusing and humbling. Ok- BREATHE

*I love my church calling. It is busy and I feel like I never do enough. We have a very large ward. Almost 700 people. Our primary has 275 kids- if you can even imagine. We have 230 ladies in Relief Society and we literally get new people every week. There are two elders quorums in our ward. I LOVE meeting all the people and the blessings that come from a big ward- really. But I know there is always someone silently suffering- someone I should be helping, or loving, or calling. It is humbling and amazing all in one. A great learning experience for me, and my family. Ryan is amazing being a single dad at night a couple nights a week sometimes. I LOVE the friendships I have made though. There are amazing people.

*I have lost at least 1/2 of my hair- seriously. Over the summer I noticed it falling out more and more. I started to feel really tired too. I haven't even wanted to run- SAD. Other things were happening too. I finally went to my dr. and found out I am extremely anemic. After being on iron for a week I have noticed a little change in my energy and my stomach hurts all the time:) I just want my hair to quit falling out- it is freaking me out! It's a good thing I started out with a lot.

*We live in a beautiful place. We took the kids on a hike around Swan Lake up the canyon. They all moaned and groaned about it but once we got there they loved it. Luka had to climb every fallen tree. The fall leaves were AMAZING. Cannon put so many leaves in his pockets. It was hilarious. This fall has been nice- warm. We have tried to be outside a lot and take advantage of it.

*The other day as I walked through my neighborhood on my way home from running I started to think about every house I passed. I could name who lived there and for most houses a trial they were going through or had been through. I suddenly felt so grateful that I live in such a great neighborhood where I would know everyone. And- that we all go through things. Everyone is very supportive and loving here. The service people are willing to give around here is amazing. My heart was full of love for these people.

ok- that's enough rambling for now.

2011-10-27T13:02:00.000-06:00

Lately this cute little face is what keeps me going.......

2011-10-15T20:53:00.004-06:00

Dear Cannon

You are two years old. How did that happen? Being my baby- the last of my gaggle. I get very emotional with the milestones. It is hard to describe. The moments are bittersweet. I love to see you develop and grow- but parts of me want to bottle you up and keep you in the little toddler stage forever. So sweet and innocent. Full of excitement at learning everything and experiencing everything for the very first time.

You are FULL of life. You never stop moving from the moment you wake up until you fall asleep at night. You have pretty much stopped taking naps. You learned how to climb out of your crib, open doors and undo locks so nap time became a major struggle. I pick my battles. Besides- you don't want to miss one minute of the action going on in this house.

You LOVE your siblings. Your brother "Lukie" is the love of your life. You look for him the moment you wake up. You love to wrestle with him, chase him, laugh with him, and do pretty much what ever he does. Even if he gets majorly annoyed. And you hate when he is at preschool because you are stuck with just me. But we do have some good times just being alone together. You still like to cuddle with me and hug me- thank goodness. You kiss me and I love when you put both of your hands on my cheeks and say with a big smile "mom mom" (your name for me) and then kiss me.

You have become quite the talker. You can pretty much say anything and say complete sentences. You ask questions. You say phrases all the time that I know you learned from me or other members of the house hold. One thing that always makes us laugh is when you grab someones hand and say very loudly "get up!" and then lead us to where you want us to go.

I always have to keep my eye on you or you are out the front door and half way down the street to the park. You know right where it is and you LOVE to be there. You love to be outside no matter what. AND- you LOVE bugs. One day when we were outside I saw you bend over and pick something up. You looked up at me and ran in the house and shut the door behind you. I followed you in and you were sitting on the couch with your chubby fist closed tight. I asked you what you had and you said "no mom mom ". I pried your hand open and you had a rolly poly in there and it was still alive. You said "my buggie mom, not yours". I laughed so hard. I told you your buggie had to live outside!

You are obsessed with milk- to the point you wont eat. We have to carefully monitor your milk intake now so you will eat food. You hang on the fridge and beg for your "milky" but we have to tell you no. It makes me sad but you need to eat food too. You like a lot of different food but are definitely my most picky eater.

When we took you to your two year old check up you were in the 97% for height and 81% for weight. I was not surprised, so many people are shocked when I tell them your age. They always think you are at least 3. You are one big boy!

You love babies. Every time you see one you run up and say "Hi baby. Oh, you sweet". I love it. You also love the ladies. Every time you see the little girls your age in the neighborhood you run up to them and hug and kiss them:)

You are my blond hair, blue eyed sunshine boy. You bring me so much joy every day. Your smile fills my soul. With each milestone I weep, knowing my children are growing. The chapters on babies are finished. Now the chapters on toddlers are being finished. It is so surreal, exciting and heartbreaking all in one.

You can always make me smile with your pretend whistles, your sweet singing and your tiny voice. You will forever be my baby. I love you with all my heart,
Mom mom

Cannon's Birthday week of Partying

2011-10-11T12:31:00.007-06:00

So, I guess Ryan is right when he says "Birthday Week" instead of just a "birthDAY". But I love it. I mean- what's wrong with celebrating a person for a week!

So first- we celebrated Cannon on Sunday with Ryan's family. He was so funny because he had no idea his birthday was coming up but has paid a lot of attention lately to birthdays so when we started singing happy birthday he joined right in,

THEN- he had this great look of surprise when we said his name. It was so cute. His eyes got so big and he got a giant smile. He loved blowing out the candles on his "Smurf" cupcakes.

These were an interesting choice to buy at the store because the blue frosting certainly stained faces!

After treats he opened a few presents. Ryan's parents gave him a Hokey Poky Elmo.

This was the most amazing he gift he could have imagined receiving. You should have seen his face when Elmo started singing and dancing around. He laughed so hard and screamed and danced. It was absolutely adorable.

We all laughed and kept making Elmo dance over and over so we could see Cannon's delight!

Next- he opened a present from mommy and daddy. We got him his own little soccer ball. He has been so enthralled with soccer this year watching all his siblings play.
(Cannon with uncle Colin and his presents)
He gets so sad when they are all out practicing and wont share their ball with him so now he has his own tiny soccer ball. It is just right for him and he is already an amazing kicker!
(Cannon with uncle Casey and aunt Sapphire)
I loved watching all of his siblings help him open presents and be excited for him.
Then before we left there was a push up challenge. Grandpa paid $10 to Savannah and Cooper for doing 50 push ups each- which is amazing! Then Casey and Colin couldn't help but Challenge each other!

(The twins getting a work out)
Next, on Wed.- his actual birthday it was really cold and raining. Fall has arrived fast and almost feels like winter. Cannon, Luka and I met Ryan for lunch. We went to Olive Garden. Cannon was so cute to tell people he was two as he held up three or four fingers:) That night - I made broccoli soup (one of his favorites) and monkey bread. We opened his presents from his siblings. Savannah gave him a mister potato head.
(Cannon wearing the mister potato head stuff- and singing into the mr. potato head mic.)
Cooper gave him the movie Lion King (which he will just carry around he loves it so much) and Luka gave him so cute board books.

After that we planned to go to the park and play but it was a hurricane outside so we headed over to Kangaroo Zoo- a bounce house right down the street. He LOVED his as you can imagine. All the kids ran around like wild animals and wore themselves out. It was so cute to watch them help Cannon and see him scream with delight as he would slide down the HUGE slides!

On Thursday Cannon received the cutest books from his girlfriend Chloe! She and he are meant to be together. They are only two months apart in age. Both cute little blonde's . He is a giant and she is a petite little sweetheart. They LOVE each other. They hug and kiss each other every time they are together. They sit with each other at church. They always share snacks and talk to each other. It is so darn cute. They really have a cute bond.

On Saturday aunt Becca flew in from Phoenix
(Cannon loves when aunt Becca plays on her guitar for him)
and Grandpa Scott came down from Logan. He brought Cannon the cutest little people present from he and grandma Nan.

Becca brought the cutest books from Grammy!

We all had lunch and DA MIDDLE cupcakes that I made and we celebrated our sweet boy one more time. He loved it and was so cute. Thanks to everyone for making his two year old birthday special!

2011-10-05T08:38:00.002-06:00

notice all our new pictures- pretty cute, huh!

I am a real soccer mom......

2011-09-21T17:51:00.006-06:00

We have three kids in soccer this year. So, I guess am a real live soccer mom. We are eating, sleeping and breathing soccer around here and it is great! This is something our whole family loves and so we all jump right in. We have practices going on 3 nights a week with one or two kids going each of those nights and then we have games three nights or days a week with one or two or three kids on each day (three kids at the same time gets tricky, two is ok because Ryan and I can split up!)

Luka is on the Red Dragon team and doing great.

Cooper is on the Blue Sharks. We had a run around with his soccer this year. Putting him on teams and pulling him from teams. He has amazing ability but he ended up on a rec team which was great because he is playing with the neighborhood boys and doing great. I love watching him play. He is very intense but no longer a ball hog.

He likes to pass and actually help his friends get a goal. He has played goalie the past few games which is a new thing for him this year. It is challenging for him and he puts a lot of pressure on himself.

He is good at diving on the ball though and is not scared of anything. He is very fast and doesn't get tired at all. He is a champ!

Savannah is on a competition team this year. She is blue and gold (number 5). There were complications with her soccer too but we were able to get her on a team and she is playing with a new league and has a couple of friends on her team (including her besty Abby thank goodness!) She had been practicing since the beginning of July with two/ two hour practices a week and running at least a mile on off days. She has been AMAZING. She is very open to learning.

Her games are a little bit of a drive and MUCH more competitive and interesting. At this level they aren't guaranteed playing time and have to earn it with their skills. She has been a really good sport and definitely has the best running skills on her team.

I love watching her and cheering her on.

Lucky 13......

2011-09-16T07:00:00.001-06:00

Today I have 13 years of sobriety. It has been an interesting year. Some people might think as each year goes by it gets easier and you forget about being an addict. However- for me at least that is not true. AND- if all people were honest with themselves, they would find they all have negative addictive behaviors they could all rid themselves of and would see that they would think of them once in a while- even as days, weeks and years go by. And, yearn for them or slip into them during stressful times etc.

Most of the time this is a deep private struggle for me. That is how some trials in life are. People don't relate to this, or don't want to relate to the power of addiction openly. This last year has been one the most stressful, painful times of my life. Full of growing pains and disappointment. Full of inadequacy and sorrow. Full of stress and feeling the most alone I have ever felt. And yes- I know Satan rejoices when I feel all of those things. Being the stubborn person I am, some days the only thing that got me out of bed was the simple thought that I wasn't going to let Satan win that day. So- my 13th year of sobriety was indeed a balancing act many days. Barely making it on my tippy toes to stay on the right side of the line- but I did it. As much as I wanted the feeling of escape and to be pain free I know that when you wake up from that everything is much worse.

As I was running a couple days ago. I was in awe of the human spirit. We are amazing you know. God made us, that is why. We can endure things unimaginable and stand tall through it all. We can love people and forgive them for terrible things and feel more free after all is said and done.

This year has also been full of some amazing experiences in which I have been able to share my story of recovery with some people and help them and pray for them and love them. My testimony of Heavenly Father's love for us and the Saviors atonement have grown so much. WE ARE LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY. That alone is so comforting. Something I want to strive to be better at to all of those I know. He has sent me some amazing new friendships this year that have saved me with all the things that have occurred. They have truly been a saving grace. God is REAL. THIS I KNOW.

The first of MANY......

2011-09-12T14:54:00.002-06:00

Luka started soccer last Saturday. His very FIRST official soccer game to follow in the shoes of his older brother and sister. He has been waiting so long for this to happen. Watching his older brother and sister play for YEARS and asking over and over when it would be HIS turn. He was SO excited.

His little team is so darn cute. All of the boys are from our area and neighborhood. He knows all of them very well and was so excited for his team. The COACH is a great friend of ours and an amazing soccer player himself. He coaches high school soccer but we all begged him to coach this cute little team and how could he say no- especially since his cute little son is on it!

Their team is the Red Dragons. Chris has done a great job with practices and getting them comfortable on the field so the first game didn't have too many tears or fear- only a little:)

Luka was all over the place. Running hear and there. He did many assists and was a little disappointed he didn't score a goal. We told him he did great getting the ball down to his friends. I love the pictures of him kicking because he has a huge smile on his face. He is having so much fun! It was fun watching Cooper and Savannah cheer so loud for him- and hearing Cannon say "Go lukie Go lukie".

9/11 revisited, and my love of this country

2011-09-11T18:18:00.003-06:00

Today is the 10 year anniversary of the attacks on the world trade centers. I can remember it like yesterday- which is unusual for me because I am not good at remembering things- even big things.

I feel like I need to write this down for my children and for me. I was driving to work. Ryan and I had been married for 11 months. I had the radio on and the song I was listening to was interrupted. The DJ came on and said that an airplane had crashed into the first tower of the World Trade center. There was a lot of confusion and no one quite knew what was happening. I couldn't call Ryan because I knew he was in a training or something. I hurried and got to work and turned on the TV, I called my mom who only worked a few miles from me at the time. I told her to turn on the radio and she said her whole office was listening too- RIGHT then in front of my eyes the second plane hit the second tower. I was in shock. I started crying. I asked my mom what was happening. She said she didn't know. We said we would talk later. I worked at a teen counseling center then. The kids were all coming in taking their morning meds and asking what was going on. We (the staff), told them. We were all glued to the TV. Then the news started saying words like terrorists, attacks all over America, planes were taken down that were headed for the pentagon etc. etc. It was almost a slow motion, dream like state for me. My boss got in and we cried and hugged each other. We put our facility on lock down and decided no one could leave the facility for safety precautions. I finally got ahold of Ryan and told him to turn on a radio or TV- he couldn't believe it.

As hours and days passed we were all glued to our TV's and radios. Watching scenes and hearing of heroes and victims of this terrible incident. Learning of someone who knew someone else who was killed or missing. Hearing horrific stories that ripped your heart out. Praying so hard for answers. How could this happen in our land, in the USA? I remember feeling vulnerable. Realizing that anything could happen anywhere- even in my country.

My parents have instilled deep patriotism in me. For that I am GRATEFUL. EVERY night in my prayers I thank GOD for living in this land of freedom. For winning the lottery to live in this blessed land and to be able to raise my children here. To want for nothing. To have so many choices at my fingertips. I weep sometimes just thinking of it. The other day in a family discussion someone said they don't agree with saying the pledge of allegiance. That it suggests that Americans think they are better than other human beings. First- I wasn't surprised it came from this person, being somewhat self absorbed and taking all the things I feel are most important in life for granted he would say this. Second- he is lucky he lives here so he can FREELY feel that way. Third- I don't think our pledge of allegiance states that. I feel that it states loyalty, of a people led by GOD, that will not be divided and that will seek truth and freedom at all costs. For that I will kiss that ground I live on and shout praises to our flag. I will honor EVERY single life that has been lost to give this to ME and MY CHILDREN. I know his father, nor grandfathers didn't go to war for our country so maybe he has no first hand experience with real loss for patriotism or suffering for this freedom. I have heard stories from both of my grandfathers and their experience with wars. One of them went to war with his brothers and was the only one who came back alive- just boys, boys who lost all innocence and gave everything for their posterity to have everything. Lastly- he must not believe the same things I do when I read scriptures- things of the "Promised land". The places that GOD does want to have purity and freedom. Is our government perfect, "NO". Neither am I. And I don't want to try and run our country so GOD bless the men who will try.

Looking at my children tonight I was thinking about this discussion last weekend. I was thinking about how I want my children to LOVE America. How I want them to know what our flag is, how I have talked to them about 9/11 and other wars. How I have told them in other countries there are children who run at night away from bad men and have no parents or protectors. How there are other countries where men stand on corners with guns and you have no choice in education or who you marry.

A few months ago, around the 4th of July in Church we were singing the Star Spangled Banner and I was crying. Cooper asked me why and I told him what the song meant and that I was singing for all the soldiers who were fighting for our country right now. And that one day I hoped I didn't have to sing that for him and his brothers but that if I did I would sing my very loudest. I don't know what the world is coming too. We have been warned of last days and the many wars. I have had long discussions with many friends who are mothers of lots of boys the same age of mine that have had dreams and feelings that their boys would be soldiers. It scares me.

If you don't know a soldier, ask around. You will find someone who does. Thank them for there sacrifice. Last spring I was sitting in the airport by myself waiting for a flight. I was watching a family. They had a young son dressed in his army uniform. They were taking pictures and hugging him. They were all crying. Our plane was boarding. I ran over and asked if I could take a picture of all of them together. I could barely hold back my own tears. The father said "Yes, please, that would be so wonderful." They all stood together with tears streaming down their faces and smiled." When I handed the camera back I hugged the soldier and said "thank you". He said "you are so welcome". Find a soldier and thank him today, for yourself and your family. For the past, for the present and for the future of our country. God Bless America.

Labor Day fun!

2011-09-07T16:40:00.005-06:00

Over Labor Day weekend we were lucky enough to go to Bear Lake with some of Ryan's family. It was especially fun to be with his twin brothers. They had been gone all summer to internships so it was fun to catch up with them.
(Casey teasing Luka. I love the look on Luka's face!)
Casey- just got engaged (YAHOO, but his fiance lives in Denver, boo) so it was fun to hear all about his future plans and to hear all about his woman and to see how cute he was talking about her and being in love. Colin has a girl friend- Andrea that he brought and she is so great. My kids love her and it was fun to get to know her better.
(Luka took this picture of us. Not too bad for a 3 year old photographer!)

The weather was so great. We spent most of our time at the pool. The kids love the slide there and the diving board. Cannon loved the little pool and beating up all the kids in it.
Cannon chillin on the couch.

(GAME TIME.)

We also played mini golf, built sand castles, played lots of games and watched movies. Savannah's sweet friend Abbey came- she is such a cutie. Ryan managed to get in two rounds of golf with his dad too.

The kids also entertained themselves by climbing all the awesome trees around (this is definitely one of Cooper's favorite parts about going to the lake).

They were also creative and made spears out of sticks and leaves.

When it was time to leave Luka cried and asked us to please just stay and live at Bear Lake forever. Our children all love it there so much. I told him we couldn't live there but we would stop for one of their "famous" raspberry" shakes on the way out of town. This seemed to suffice! We are lucky to have such a fun place to go often and create traditions with our kids.

2011-09-06T13:37:00.002-06:00

Luka had his first day of Preschool today. To my utter surprise there were no tears, I had imagined him crying and clinging to my leg. A nightmarish scene of screaming and me having to peel him off and run away fast. That is how he has always handled new things. However, in preparation for preschool I have continually told him how fun it will be- a party every time he goes. We have walked by his school (only 5 houses down from ours) many times. AND- he has seen Savannah and Cooper leave for school for so long that I think he really was excited for school. As he, Cannon and I walked to his school he was full of excitement.
(Luka with his cousin Eli)

He let me take pictures of him and then he was right in the door and down the stairs. Not even a hug good bye. I was a little sad I will admit. He didn't even look back. On the other hand, Cannon was quite upset when he learned he would NOT be staying for the party! It was just me and him. We did have a good time though. BUT- after the two hours had passed and I told him it was time to go get Luka he raced to the door and started running down the street. He was so excited to get his best friend home. He even carried Luka's bag home for him!

Cherry Hill

2011-08-25T13:12:00.005-06:00

I asked my kids what was one last thing they wanted to do this summer that we hadn't done and they all said " GO TO CHERRY HILL WATER PARK!" So on the last Friday before school started Julie and I loaded up the kids and went to Cherry Hill:)

We love this water park because it is designed especially for younger kids. And this year Ava, Cooper and Savannah were old enough to go on the "big" water slides by themselves- which was so great.

We all had a good time. Cannon loved it too. We were there for about 5 hours. Julie and I especially loved to people watch. I missed my mom because I saw lots of grandma's there and I know my mom loves going there with my kids. One thing Cannon DID NOT like was the Lazy river so he and I stayed out of that and back at the little fountains when everyone else went there.

All of the kids were so fun to watch. I love watching my kids have FUN! It was a perfect day.

First Day of School

2011-08-22T08:37:00.002-06:00

First day of school 2011!

Savannah is in 4th Grade! She has Miss Coray. We couldn't be happier. This is her same teacher from last year. She moved up to 4th grade. We are so excited. She is the best teacher ever:)

Cooper is in 2nd grade. He has Mrs. Harwood. We have heard so many good things about her. She knew Cooper right when he walked in. She had known his teacher last year. She seems really king and will be a perfect fit for him!

Some of the kids at the Bus stop! Savannah is the only girl at her bus stop. She holds her own though. She is used to being the only girl:)

2011-08-18T12:18:00.004-06:00

Dear Savannah,

9 years old! I can hardly believe it. The other night (on your actual birthday, August 10th) you were sitting with me and your dad and I was telling you the story of when you were born. You were just looking at me, with those big beautiful blue eyes, so innocent. You loved every part of the story and had a huge smile on your face the whole time.

This past year I have noticed how pure and kind you are. You have an amazing heart. I watch you and I see how sincere and tender you are. You are kind to everyone- family, friends and even strangers. I love to watch you, when you are watching other people. I can read your emotions- you wear them right on your sleeve. You are always so concerned for others and you don't like things that make you sad or scared. My prayer is you always keep this sweet innocence. You have never been trendy or a "mean girl". You love to be with people and you don't have to keep "up" with anyone.

You have a wonderful testimony of Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father. I see you touched by the spirit quite often. Don't ever be afraid to share this with others. You are so beautiful on the inside and on the outside. Your beauty is striking and many people tell your father and I how beautiful you are!

You are the best older sister. You have 3 wild little brothers. Often they are rough and mean but you take it in stride and always love them. You read to them, play with them, teach them and love them. They look up to you so much. They watch everything you do. You are a wonderful example to them. You are also a pleaser. You try to make peace in our home and help whenever you can.

You are very self motivated and a hard worker. I have watched you in soccer. You are playing at a whole new level this year. You have practiced HARD. You are willing to learn and be taught by your coach. You have learned to run FAR, even in the heat. You amaze me with your iron will.

You and I have always had a special bond. We have been close and I love it. You still cuddle with me and laugh with me. I love to shop with you and sing with you. I love our nightly chats. You are amazing. I love you forever. Love, mom

Olympic Birthday Party

2011-08-16T16:07:00.012-06:00

This was the year for Savannah to have a birthday party (we only do a party every other year). She thought about what she wanted and her and her day came up with the idea of an "Olympic" themed birthday party, with lots of events and games.

So, Savannah and I went to work planning all the races, events and games. It was lots of fun coming up with them. Then I came up with the "America" theme of Red, white and blue and bought all the decorations and prizes to match that. It was a lot of fun and WORK, but worth it.

There ended up being 12 girls that came. I was so lucky to have my sister, Julie, Ryan and his parents there to help me manage the party and my wild boys!

The party started at 10am. First we had all the girls get "American flag" tattoos and then they made their own torches for the opening ceremonies. Then I had them stand on the porch and raise their torches high and say "GO USA". It was cute and fun:)

Next we let the girls each choose a Gatorade (red, white or blue) and did some of the events in our yard. We did some "MINUTE TO WIN IT" races- meaning they only had 60 seconds to try and finish the task. Being that we had such a huge range of personalities, athletic skills and such I wanted lots of different kinds of games and events.

*SO first we did the cookie to mouth race- you put a cookie on your forehead and try to get it into your mouth without using hour hands- it was hilarious to watch- everyone was laughing so hard.

*Next, we did the chubby bunny race- they had 60 seconds to stuff as many large marshmallows in their mouth as they could. Nicole and Cooper tied with SEVEN!

*We did a bubble gum bubble blowing contest

*relay race with an egg on the spoon
A relay race with the life savor going from tooth pick to tooth pick.

*Next we hit some field events like the:

LIMBO......

HIGH JUMP.........

Fifty yard dash and ring toss. Then we headed back to the house for the famous water balloon toss because at the point these girls were HOT!

Lastly, we ended with the famous DING DONG UNICORN- this was awesome. They had 60 seconds to pile as many ding dongs as they could on their fore head. The winner was 5 (most got 3). It was so funny!

While the hamburgers and hot dogs were cooking for lunch we opened presents. All of Savannah's friends were so generous and gave her amazing gifts. They were all so cute and excited for her to open the present they brought. She got a ton of art stuff- which she LOVES!

When the girls left we gave them these cute little bags with red, white and blue stars- they had tattoos, red white and blue star necklaces and candy and a bracelet.

After all the girls left we gave her the family gifts. This year Ryan and I got her an IPOD shuffle. She was very surprised and loved it. Her brothers gave her some cute clothes. WE LOVE YOU SAVANNAH!

Savannah's 9th Birthday interview!

2011-08-10T19:10:00.002-06:00

Savannah turns NINE.........

If you could have one super-power, what would it be? Being Invisible

· What was the last chore you did? Cleaned my Room

· What is your favorite song? You Belong With Me By Taylor Swift

· What's your favorite food? Hawaiian Haystacks of Course!

· What's the nicest thing you've done for someone in your family lately? Gave my mom a foot rub.

· What makes you mad? When my brothers tackle me.

· Where would you like to go on vacation next year? Costa Rica (like we are going for my auntie's wedding!)

· Who's the smartest person in your family? Mom Why? You are nicer and smarter!

· How are you like your dad? I like to play soccer

· How are you like your mom? We both like to run.

· What's one thing that your dad has that you'd like to develop? Be a good parent

· What's one thing that Dad always said to you? You're a good big sister

· What's one thing that you and Dad did together that you'll always remember? Playing soccer together...

· If you had a million dollars, what's the first thing you'd buy? IPOD touch

· How do you know that I (mom) love you? You give me lots and lots of hugs and kisses

· What's your favorite cereal? Cinnamon toast crunch

· What's your favorite movie? I have lots of favorites, maybe Percy Jackson.

· What's your favorite vegetable? Zucchini

· What personal item that you would never give away? Arts and Crafts supplies

· What's your favorite game? Dixit

· What's your favorite book? Janitors

· What food would you eat every day if you could? Vanilla Ice Cream

· If you could choose a different name, what would it be? Ashley

· What's the scariest thing you've ever done? Go on the ride "wicked" at Lagoon

· If you could eat at any restaurant for the rest of your life, where would it be? Noodles and Company or Cafe Rio

· What's your favorite candy bar? Hershey

· What's the last thing that you did that you were proud of? Bear my testimony in Church

· What's the best age to be? 12

· What's your favorite holiday? My Birthday

· What's the best present you ever got? IPOD Shuffle

· What's your greatest word of wisdom at age 9? Be a good Friend

Henry's lake 2011

2011-08-08T16:45:00.013-06:00

(THE KIDS WITH TINY)

We are so lucky to be able to visit Ryan's God father, TINY, and his lovely wife, Joan at their beautiful cabin on Henry's lake in Idaho during the end of July. They live right by West Yellow Stone. This is a trip the kids really look forward too- I don't know if it is more to enjoy the beautiful lake, go to Yellow Stone or to see Tiny's dog SAM.
( COOPER WITH SAM)

They love Sam so much- I really think he is the high light of the trip- he is the most amazing yellow lab, so patient and loving with my kids. They would take him home in a minute if their dad wasn't so allergic to him!

We arrived on Thursday afternoon and it was absolutely beautiful and perfect weather. The wild flowers were off the charts this year with all the rain we have had. The fields were filled with colors of yellow, purple, pink, white, blue and red. I was in awe the whole time. I kept pointing and waiting for Laura Ingles to run down the hill. And it smelled so wonderful too. We made our selves at home- it is so easy with such wonderful hosts! They spoil us rotten the whole time- Joan is an amazing cook and makes these amazing meals, and has treats, and snacks set out the whole day long.

On Friday we headed into Yellow stone and Tiny took us on a new route this year. We wanted to see something different instead of the regular "old faithful". We saw some beautiful water falls this year and a TON of awesome wild life.

Ryan told the kids he would pay them a quarter for each species they sighted, a $1 for a moose, and $5 for a bear sighting. We were in for a real treat because we actually saw a Black mama bear and her two tiny bear cubs. It was so awesome! We got out of the car and got to watch them walk along a log and play. I loved it and so did the kids. We saw all kinds of other animals too- bald eagles, buffalo, elk, deer, squirrels, hawks but we never saw a moose. It was a beautiful drive though and a wonderful day through Yellow Stone.

On Saturday we first went on boat rides in Tiny's boat. He took us all over Henry's lake. We saw some awesome Pelicans and tons of dragon flies.

Then we went to a fun restaurant for lunch and then horse back riding. This was the favorite part of the trip for the kids. They all told me so. They LOVED it. They are all big fans of horses and were so excited for this adventure. We took a little over an hour ride around a beautiful lake. We were a little worried they wouldn't let Luka ride but they did and he had his own horse! He was so proud of himself. All smiles.

I kept asking him if he was ok and how he was doing. He was so funny because he then would respond with "mom, are you ok? You are doing so good!" It was really magical, it was so beautiful, the flowers were amazing, the air was so crisp, the lake was so pretty and I was with my children and husband, Sister and mother in law (we just didn't have Cannon, Tiny and Joan were so nice and watched him for us while we went). It was really a perfect moment. I let myself live right in it and enjoyed every second.

On Sunday we hiked a little, then went for a crazy drive to a hidden lake in Montana and saw the continental divide.

The kids got really into skipping rocks. Ryan is a pro at this. He got one to skip like 8 0r 9 times once.

I was really impressed. Luka fell in the lake of course- I laughed so hard at the shock on his face. It was a wonderful day.

I loved being with just my family in such a beautiful place with no phone, TV or distractions.

Monday morning came to fast. We had a wonderful breakfast and then packed up to leave. This is always such an amazing vacation. We are well taken care of with amazing company.

Some other things I loved were each time we would enter the cabin Cannon would run to Sam and hug him and kiss him and and say "hi Sam". He was seriously in LOVE with this dog. He was also in love with Tiny- now, Tiny is not Tiny. He is a tall man with a great presence. At first Cannon was a little shy but he got right in and would sneak up to Tiny and then soon would be right on Tiny's lap. It was so cute. All of my kids love him and love to be around him as do I and Ryan. He is so kind and loving- he is genuine and easy to be around. And- he and Joan are so patient with our wild children:) I also love their deck in the back. We always seem to gravitate there- you can see the whole lake. It is so fun to sit there and talk.

16 years of friendship

2011-08-08T15:51:00.003-06:00

( Mindy- going to have 4th baby girl, Denae going to have 4th baby, me, Erin, Jenny. We missed Heather and Julianne)

I still can't wrap my brain around the idea that I have been graduated from high school for 16 years! I am old...... anyway, after high school I met the most amazing girls in the world my first year of college at Utah state. God blessed me with them- I really believe this. We have been fortunate to remain friends through the thick and thin of life since. There are 7 of us. We have been through many things since then: marriages, divorce, death of loved ones, birth of children, and many other trials and blessings. I am so glad I have had these girls to share it with. We all live in different places but I love when we can get together. The other night 5 of us were able to go to dinner. There is never enough time to get every thing in!

Fun Surprise

2011-08-08T15:48:00.001-06:00

The other day I was gone helping a neighbor clean her house. While I was gone Cooper and Ava decided to do something special for me- They cleaned out my garage. They did a great job! I was so surprised. They had to have a little fun during the work though- Becca came out and found them like this.....

A visit from Jamie

2011-08-08T15:42:00.003-06:00

We always look forward to Jamie's summer visit with her girls. We know they are so busy when they come to Utah so we feel extra special when they set aside a day to spend with us. It is so fun that Jamie has three beautiful girls that are the same age as my kids. They have a fun time playing and I love watching our kids together- especially Savannah and Jordyn because they are reaching the age Jamie and I were when we first met (so crazy!)

This time we spent the day playing at the pool, while Tucker and Ryan went golfing.

Then we came home and the kids made up a hilarious play (skit), whatever! It was very imaginative!

There is never enough time to get all of our talking done though. We could talk for hours about current things, past things and the future. I know I can always talk to Jamie about anything. That is great! We also got to have Jordyn spend the night this time which was a special treat!

My dad

2011-07-30T17:16:00.003-06:00

(father's day 2011)

This is a late post but I was waiting to get the picture from my sister. Anyway- for Father's day we all got together and took my dad to lunch. It is always fun to spend time with him (even if our kids are a circus). In the last year as we have gone through some difficult things as a family and with my dad I have come to learn a few things. One thing is that no matter how bad things are, I will love my family. I just will. Sure, I might be disappointed, sad, upset, angry and depressed about the path sometimes life takes BUT I will always love my family. It is just the choice I have made. Second, my dad is a person. I am a person. Sometimes as a child you think your parents are these super humans who know everything and expect them to do everything right. Then when you become a parent and realize that your kids think the same thing of you the truth becomes more clear. We are all just people, trying our best. We are on our own paths of learning, growing and trials. We each have burdens, trials and temptations. We each have our own things to learn and conquer here on earth. I am blessed to know my dad. I am blessed that our relationship has grown and become better and more mature over the last few months. I love him very much. I am grateful for the things we have learned together and will continue to learn.

Crazy hair

2011-07-30T17:07:00.003-06:00

This month Cooper was challenged to read every day for karate. They do cool stuff like that- home work assignments that actually make my kid a better person:) Anyway- he read every day so he could participate or receive the weekly prizes. One week he got a Popsicle, one week it was crazy hair day and then at the end of the month (last night) they got to go watch a movie and have treats at the Karate center. It was so fun and he loved it.

For his crazy hair day he won 2nd place. He was so proud of himself. His teachers took lots of pictures of his hair and he won a Chinese star. He actually cried when I made him wash the color out. He really liked it and was feeling pretty cool!
(In the back we put the letters "BLK" in silver. That is the initials of his karate school "Bobby Lawrence Karate. It is hard to see in this picture but it looked cool.

2011-07-19T22:39:00.004-06:00

Some days are bad. Something terrible happens and you realize that life is so short. You realize that in one short blink things change so drastically that it will never be right again. We all know this, but we don't think about it. If we did we would be paralyzed. We couldn't function. So we pretend. We go on- day to day living. Pretending the tragedy and ugly won't strike us. Well- it struck one of my dear friends who has already been through her share. Her beautiful sister of the young age of 25 was killed in a car accident yesterday( click HERE to read article). So quickly she was gone. When I found out today I was in shock. As the day has progressed it has sunk in. I didn't want to cry because that made it real. I don't want to think about things like this. It is so sad. So ugly. So heart wrenching. We never really know what is around the next corner. We can only try to appreciate and love. We can only do our best. My friend Heather, is an amazing example of this. Her and her three sisters are so close. Hailey knew how much she was loved by them, and they knew she loved them. No time was wasted between them. Now, I can only pray for them to have comfort and strength and to know that Hailey is with their mom who died from cancer over 10 years ago. I am trying to just breathe- I know that is what the Pearce family is trying to do right now too. May God be with them during this time of tragedy.

JULY 4th ROBINSON STYLE

2011-07-07T15:18:00.006-06:00

Since we had already gone to the "town" fire works on July 2nd I decided to invite a bunch of neighbors to our street to have our own fire work party this year. Our street is great for it because it is a back street with not traffic. I told them to bring a treat to share and some fireworks and to come around 7:30is so the kids could plays street games and we could hang out until it got dark.

We had an amazing turn out- there were about 15 families that showed up, which equals a ton of people and LOTS of fun. There were kids running around every where. They played kick ball and had lots of fun.

There were thousands of POPS being thrown in the road and sparklers everywhere. Unfortunately, Luka grabbed the wrong end of one and burned his hand early in the night so he held his hand in a bowl of ice for most of the festivities, but survived!

I tried to walk around and keep things safe with my fire extinguisher in hand- haha. The kids were in pure delight with all the fire works going off- especially with the fire work laws changed this year and aerials being allowed.

We had quite a show thanks to neighbors bringing lots of kinds. The fire works went on and on and the kids had a blast.

A couple of them ran up to me and told me it was the best night of their life.

Lots of the neighbors said it was the best time and we have to make it a tradition.

I was glad! I didn't even mind cleaning up the mess afterward because people had so much fun.
But my favorite part was when one of the dad's said to me "You know, you can't beat our neighborhood. It is the best ever!" And it is. There isn't a better place to be raising my kids right now. I love all the families here, all the kids and the fun things we do together.

Eagle Wood Fourth (on the 2nd of July)

2011-07-07T15:09:00.004-06:00

Our town did their big fire work display on the 2nd of July this year, it is up at Eagle Wood Golf Course. My mom and Rod were still here so we decided to head up there and have a good time.

Jenny and Dan were awesome and went up early and got us an amazing spot in the SHADE on a beautiful green and we had a great time.

We took a picnic dinner up and the kids had fun playing while we waited for it to get dark. In the mean time we had a few other friend join us, the Martins and the Hamlets. It was a great party. I love being with friends, being outside, celebrating our country and enjoying our FREEDOM.

We are so blessed to live in this land.

Earlier in the day I was talking to Cooper asking him if he knew what the 4th of July was. As I was explaining it to him, he got a little teary when I told him both of my grandpa's had fought in wars to keep our country free. That we were the ONLY country in the WORLD to experience true freedom and the Heavenly Father must really love us to send us HERE. That we have been warned in the last days there will be more wars like the ones happening now and he might have to fight in them to protect us, and his children to keep freedom. It was very sobering and humbling.

GOD BLESS THE USA!

Dirty Girl Run

2011-07-05T15:32:00.004-06:00

On July 2nd I did my SECOND mud run. I gathered 15 of my friends and we did the first Kiss Me Dirty race at Wheeler Farm. It was a 4 mile race through the farm and mud with obstacles. It was really fun- and hot! We named our team "Flirtn With Dirt". We had a few more registered with us but a few couldn't attend and we missed them!

It was a great time! I always love being with the girls, running, laughing and having fun so all the criteria were filled. My mom, Rod, Becca, Ryan and the kids were good sports and came and supported us. They took pictures and cheered us on.

The kids always think I am a little crazy when I am covered with mud and especially at the end of this one when there was a HUGE lane of bubbles that I dove into and slid through to the finish line.

It was a great morning:)

Tooth Brush Bracelets

2011-07-05T15:22:00.005-06:00

So, my sister in law TORI always has amazing things on her blog to do. Go visit it if you are bored. We found this awesome craft and did it the other day. We made...... Tooth Brush Bracelets. The kids had so much fun. The full tutorial is on her blog here.

Slip and Slide!

2011-07-05T15:15:00.004-06:00

Becca bought Cooper a cool spider man slip and slide for his birthday. He has been waiting patiently to use it for a while. It was finally warm enough to pull it out the other day! The kids were so excited to show us their "moves"! Grandma got a big kick out of them!

First, they all took a "shower" in the bin. Then they played on the slip n slide! We all laughed so hard as they ran and slid. I remember LOVING the slip and slide when I was a kid.

It is funny how my kids can go swimming any day but this was a "TREAT" for them.

10K For Hayden

2011-07-05T15:07:00.005-06:00

On the last Saturday in June Julie and I ran a 10K in honor of Hayden Nys, who passed away 2 years ago. It was a 10k for pregnancy and infant loss. We were so honored to run in remembrance of Hayden! It was the first year this special race was held. It was right in West Bountiful, close to our house. It had a good turn out and I plan to support it every year. It was my first 10K. I ran it in 58 minutes. It was a HOT morning.

I loved that my mom was in town and brought the kids to cheer us on. Cooper and Savannah were at the finish line and ran the last few steps with me holding my hands. They were so cute and cheered me on.

They ran Julie in when she finished too!

A special Father's Day

2011-06-29T21:01:00.007-06:00

(Me and my sweet grandpa. I told him how much I love him and that he is so special to me and one of my heroes!)

On Father's day we spent time with my mom's family. My grandpa is getting old- 85. All of his kids made a special effort to spend the day with him and we tagged along! It is not often that he has his four children all together.
(I had to keep yelling "one, two, three" at the top of my lungs so my grandpa could here and look at the camera:)

It was a special day. I felt very emotional. I love my grandpa so much. He is an amazing man- he has experienced so much in his life. Coming from the poorest of poor and being very educated and making an amazing living and life for himself and his family. I took my video camera and we asked him to tell stories of his youth and life. I recorded him for about 40 minutes. These recordings will be priceless for our family for generations. It was a very special time. He seemed to come alive. He was very animated and excited. Something we hadn't seen for a while. I will always remember this evening. I am glad my kids got to be a part of it too.

We had a fabulous dinner as well. My aunt is an amazing cook. She is always so welcoming and cute with my kids.
(My aunt had it decorated so cute!)
(Casey and Jordan, returned missionaries and cute cousins!)

My cousins were extra cute with my kids in entertaining them.

The high light for Cannon and Luka was feeding the horses in their back yard.

They got a HUGE kick out of this.

Especially because Cannon is obsessed with horses and screams with delight every time he sees one out the window of a car.

Father's Day Surprise

2011-06-29T19:21:00.005-06:00

In about March or so I got a call from Ryan's best friend, Rick. He begged me to some how "let" Ryan come to the BYU vs. TCU football game at the Dallas stadium in Texas in Oct. Rick lives in Texas. This is expensive- but I love for Ryan to be able to visit Rick and to have these experiences. He works so hard for our family. SO- I planned and decided if I saved all of my money from babysitting Ava I could surprise him and fly him out for the game. I wanted the gift to be truly from ME not from me using money he made. Rick said he would get the tickets- sweet man! I had been saving my money anyway.

On Father's Day I had 5 $100 bills. One for me and each of the kids to give him. Then on the last one that Savannah gave him written on it, it said "CALL RICK". Ryan was so shocked with each $100 bill and hug. He then called Rick and his friend gave him the news of what the money was for. It was a fun surprise! The kids were so excited. They loved seeing all that money and surprising their dad with an extra special gift. I did too. Ryan does so much for us. He works very hard. He provides for us and takes that responsibility seriously. He is so even and calm. He definitely evens out my anxious personality. He is a loving father who is very engages in everything his children do.

We are so blessed to have him as the FATHER in our home.

KARATE

2011-06-28T08:21:00.004-06:00

(CAN YOU BELIEVE HE CAN DO THE SPLITS THIS WAY!)

Cooper loves any sport. This is his new one for the summer. He has loved it and is awesome at it..... are you surprised! I love this program.... They teach self respect, respecting others, discipline and so much more. Also obeying parents, keeping room clean and other things are rules in order to participate in class. They have cool home work assignments too. It is very self esteem building. Just what we need for Cooper right now.

Bear lake 1/2

2011-06-20T23:27:00.007-06:00

I ran my second 1/2 marathon on June 11th with my sister Julie in Bear Lake Utah. It was Julie's first 1/2. We trained for this one together. It was fun going to the gym- laughing on the treadmills. Seeing crazy old people almost falling off the tread mills and fun stuff like that. Going on the trail by my house. Encouraging each other. Plowing through.

On the day before Becca and I left and picked Julie up at her work. We made it a "sisters" weekend. No kids or men, HA HA. We drove to Logan first and ate a good dinner, and had Blue bird chocolates. Then we had an important errand to run. We stopped to visit our grandpa. He lives in a nursing home now- who would have thought that a year ago he was living on his own, courting a Colleen, driving around town- doing what he did. Now he can barely talk, barely remember anything, he can't walk, he can't feed himself. It is so heart breaking.

When we got there he was at dinner. We walked in and all sat around him. I fed him. He talked a little- he said our names. A tear rolled down his cheek. Sometimes the difference between life and death is so small. A mere breath. Just that simple. We take it for granted really. He ate so very little. Two bites of budding. A bite of cookie. He drank water like he was so thirsty. Although his body was mostly dead I could feel his spirit raging. He was trapped. He was shaking and I know he wanted to say so much. The tear told us that. We kept telling him it was ok. That we loved him. We took him back to his room.

I asked him if he wanted to be put in his bed or his chair. He said "I want you to take me home." I wanted to throw up. I could barely breathe. My sister Julie cried. Becca was just still. I went and got the nurses to help us. I had to walk, to move. This is the part where I scream in my head that life isn't fair although I know that too much lately, and I am that selfish to think it A LOT lately. I scream to GOD to just take him. Let him to go my grandma. Just let him go. I come back with the nurses. They put him in his chair. They leave. We all sit around him. We hold his hands. We rub him. He is shaking. He is crying. He wants to go. Julie tells him it's ok and that he doesn't have to talk. That we just want to be with him. His poor soul is raging. This is not him, merely a shell. He is broken. THIS IS HIS TRIAL. We are there to love him through it. This is how life works. We are spirits in human bodies. We don't know how to do this. We are all learning. Finally it is time to leave. We kiss him. His eyes are closed but I know he isn't asleep. When he thinks we are gone he opens his eyes. He stairs ahead with such a sad look I can barely go on. Life is hard oh so hard.

Ok- back to our race. We get to the car. We take big breaths. We eat chocolate, BIG amounts. We turn the music up loud. We sing, we act silly. We are back in the mode of fun. The canyon to Bear Lake is breathless. Everything is so green. We finally see the lake. It is blue- not just any blue- but so blue that the sky has fallen into it. We get so excited for our race!

We drive up to the park and get out to get our packets. It's cold and cloudy and Julie and I start to worry that it is going to freaking rain our whole race! Julie says she won't race in the rain because her hair will get frizzy. Becca and I laugh our heads off at her. We get our packets, get in the car and drive our running route. We tell ourselves it's going to be awesome. We take pictures.

We stayed at our cousin Heidi's house. She is such a sweetie. She is pregnant with her first baby- a girl. She is due in like 6 weeks. We stay up and talk about labor, delivery, names, we laugh and have a great time. Finally it is time for bed and the rain starts. It is raining hard people! Julie and I are scared. IF it is raining like this for the race it is going to suck! OH well.

We get up at 6 am. NO rain but dark clouds. We get dressed- in clothes that are not for cold weather or rain mind you! Julie fixes her hair and Becca and I make fun of her. We eat breakfast and head out.

This is such a small race that Becca can drive us to the start line and we can bypass taking the bus. On the way it starts raining. We don't look at Julie because we know she is thinking about her hair HA HA. When we get to the starting line it is COLD but not raining. There is excitement though. And we are off.....

I didn't stay with Julie long, like I said earlier it was a small race. They didn't even close the road. It only sprinkled for like the first 2 miles then the sun came out and it was PERFECT weather. I wore a sweatshirt for 5 minutes and it was off. Then at mile 7 I took off my short sleeve shirt and just work my tank. I ran most of the race with a cute 18 year old girl who was in her first race. She finally at mile 11 fell behind me and told me good luck.

I finished in 2 hours and 19 minutes. 2 minutes slower than my first 1/2- oh well. I was 20th out of 43 in my age range of 30 to 34, not too bad. Middle of the road I guess.

It was a great course. Pretty flat. A few good, steady climbs. Great water and drink stops every two miles. My dad, Becca and Heidi were at the end to cheer me on. They were so sweet. After I rested a few minutes I walked back about 1/2 a mile and waited for Julie.

Then I ran the end with her again. It was great to finish with her. I was so proud of her for accomplishing her goal. She is awesome!

Bear Lake 2011

2011-06-20T22:57:00.007-06:00

Our Holdaway Family reunion at Bear Lake was from June 3rd through the 8Th or so. It was really fun, a little cold being earlier in the year but we are tough (in case you hadn't figured that out yet).

We arrived on Saturday morning- this year was extra fun we because we took aunt Becca with us and our awesome friend ( and amazing babysitter) Dani.

And- we were extra spoiled to have a condo to ourselves. On Saturday we swam for 2 minutes at the pool until we discovered someone had POOPED in the pool where I proceed to hurray and pull my kids out of the pool. We then went to the beach front and the kids played in the sand and Dani taught them how to ride her skim board in the lake- which was basically ICE cold. Poor Cannon and little Kate shook so hard from being frozen but played in the sand so cute together and were covered little sand monsters by the time we left.

We then had the traditional "Olympics". I will say this year Savannah kicked booty. She won all of the events she participated in-

Becca, not so much HA HA HA. She was a good sport though and did the crab walk like nobodies business.

Saturday night was full of "skit in a bag" fun. My kids were BEAT. They always go to bed pretty well at Bear Lake from days packed with fun and staying up late.

On Sunday we slept in, then had an amazing family fireside. It was focused on great grandma and grandpa Holdaway. We miss them so much. Claudia did a wonderful job in remembering their spirits and awesomeness! I cried a lot. I am so amazed at my children's heritage and strong roots.

Later that afternoon Ryan's mom and the other great- aunts planned an amazing scavenger hunt for the grand kids based on scriptures all over the condo grounds- the kids had a wonderful time.

Sunday night wrap up was an event not to be missed- the family talent show. Savannah did a cute dance with all the cousins her age. And this year RYAN did not disappoint. He finally showed up strong. He wrote and awesome rap about "Poop in the Pool". It was hysterical. I video taped it and will share it on my blog soon.......

On Monday we went mini golfing, and after lunch swimming for like 5 hours or something. The kids NEVER tire of it.

That night for FHE we had minute to win it! Ryan's brother, Zac was in charge of this. HE and is wife Gina did an awesome job. There were the best contests from wives having to take cheese balls stuck on their husbands faces with shaving cream off and spit into buckets , to popping balloons with bellies to all kinds of great stuff. The whole family had a blast!

Then we had all the grand kids over my kids age for a "late night" we played games, had treats and watched movies- it was a FULL condo and so fun to watch all the cousins kids have fun together. I loved doing it!

On Tuesday there was still more swimming, golfing, game playing and fun.

That night we had a much smaller crowd and we had the all the kids stay back at the condos with sitters and the adults went to dinner to celebrate Doug and Sue's anniversary and Don and Barbara's anniversary. It was so fun and relaxing actually.

On Wed. we packed up. Did one last swim and headed out. We drove back home through Logan so we could stop and see grandpa Scott and grandma Nan. Then we stopped and saw Great grandpa Clark in the nursing home. He is going down hill so fast. We are praying for his peace and quick passing from this life......

It was a wonderful vacation and beautiful memories were made. And the food is always amazing, so good that I always gain a few pounds- boo. We were so appreciative of Becca and Dani's help and fun energy they brought. They were great with the kids and to have around. We really missed some of the family who couldn't come like Casey and Colin and Chalyse and Christian- not the same without them!

Ripsticks

2011-06-17T20:31:00.002-06:00

All the boys in our neighborhoods love having ripsticks. They are kind of like skate boards but A LOT more tricky to learn how to ride and maneuver. The other night one of our cute neighbor boys knocked on the door and had made a whole ripstick tournament bracket for the boys in the neighborhood for the following day with times and all. It was so cute. Ryan and I got a HUGE kick out of it. It was so cute seeing the boys meet up on one of the drive ways and do their races and moves.

Hayden

2011-06-16T22:41:00.004-06:00

It has been two years today since the BIRTH and DEATH of our sweet cousin Hayden. I was so blessed to be able to meet him in his short one hour of life. Today I was able to watch his two older brothers for a while. In honor of Hayden his parents gave us a Butterfly to release.

THE NATIVE AMERICAN INDIAN BUTTERFLY LEGEND

If anyone desires a wish to come true they must first capture a butterfly and whisper their wish to it. Since a butterfly can make no sound, the butterfly can no reveal the wish to anyone but the Great Spirit who hears and sees all. In gratitude for giving the beautiful butterfly its freedom, the Great Spirit always grants the wish. So, according to the legend, by making a wish and giving the butterfly it's freedom, the wish will be taken to the heavens and be granted.

Think of something you would like to say to a loved one who has passed away. Softly whisper this message to your butterfly. Carefully release and free the beautiful butterfly that will take your prayer and heartfelt message to heaven and share it with your loved one.

I took the kids outside on the porch and we talked about Hayden- Savannah was very teary, she has such a tender heart. We said we were lucky to have such a special angel in our family.

They all looked at the butterfly.

Cannon was so amazed. Then we let him go...... We watched him fly.

It was so beautiful. Then he landed on our flowers. The kids ran and watched him for a while. It was a very peaceful, wonderful time.

My sister, Julie and I are running a 10K on June 25 in honor of Hayden. It is a 10k to raise money for infant and pregnancy loss. We are honored to be running for Hayden.

Baseball

2011-06-15T23:31:00.004-06:00

Cooper did machine pitch baseball this year. He LOVED it. He had the BEST team. His team was the red sox and he had lots of boys from the neighborhood which made it extra fun! His team ranged from 7 year olds to 9 year olds so he was on the young side but he held his ground.

His coach was 21- and the older brother of two of the players on the team. He had great energy and the boys loved him. He gave Cooper the opportunity to play a lot of different positions so he learned a lot. Cooper had a lot of great hits too- he hit a few triples and doubles. The thing I really loved is that he always slid into home- even if he didn't NEED too.

Cooper's team did so well they ended up in the third round of play off games. The last game was tonight. It got very intense. They ended up tying and playing in over time. I had a huge stomach ache it got so intense. They lost and it was heartbreaking- there were lots of tears from the boys after the game. I was proud of the coach for cheering them on and keeping his cool during some rough calls. The boys were SO CUTE and had an outstanding season. All I can say is if sports can be this intense at age 7 I don't know what the heck I will do when he is 12 , 15 or 18! HELP ME...... I seriously was yelling my head off and so mad at the ump. OH man.....all that matters is he had fun, right? HA HA

Kindergarten and 1st grade performances

2011-06-15T23:21:00.003-06:00

The last week of school is SO BUSY! I felt like I couldn't breathe almost. Every day was full of fun and running from one place to another. Luckily I had Becca here to help me with errands, watching kids and getting things done.

We were lucky enough to attend Ava's Kindergarten graduation. It was so cute! There is never a dull moment with Ava- She was very proud of herself and sang with great gusto:) She was quite animated and loved doing the actions to her songs. Ava is had to say a special part with her special friend- (her enemy all year) but did a great job.

The teacher helped them work through their STRONG personalities and survive! I feel so lucky to be Ava's aunt and I am so glad I get to attend these activities and cheer her on. I did get a good laugh at her though- when I asked her if she was excited to be in first grade she said "NO WAY. I don't want to do that hard work!"

Next, Cooper had a big 1st grade program with all the first grade classes one evening. He was very excited for it and also very animated in singing all of his songs. He had been practicing them in school and loves to sing. I loved when he would make eye contact with me because he would get a huge smile and sing a little louder. He is so cute and always has a twinkle in his eye when he is performing. He really loved his teacher Mrs. Monroe. this year. She is having her second child in July and decided not to come back to teaching next year. He cried when he came home on the last day of school. He is sad he won't be seeing her next year. He really loved her! He does have a tender heart (sometimes:)

A baby shower

2011-06-15T23:07:00.006-06:00

(THE SPREAD)

Over memorial day weekend all of my moms family were in town to celebrate the marriage of my aunt LaRue to her new husband Fred, so I helped my cousin Nikki, have a baby shower for her sister Heidi. It was SO fun to have all of my cousins and aunts get together at my home. It isn't often that we get to do this and I LOVE the women in my family so much. They are so amazing and strong. Full of wisdom, beauty and fun.
(JANET AND NIKKI- THE PARTY PLANNERS)
First, I did nothing to help with this shower but provide the home and made one salad. Now, Nikki and her mom, Janet did an amazing job. Heidi is having a girl. SO, Nikki went all out- everything was in pink.

We had this special pink lemonade soda, with the cutest straws I have ever seen- seriously!

The food: Pasta salad, Thai Chicken salad, Potato dill salad, fruit salad, chocolate covered strawberries, chocolate covered oranges and cupcakes- with the best frosting ever and the cutest decorations! AND- the gift for all the guests were these wonderful caramels- OH MY GOSH, to die for. Nikki should be a party planner!

Heidi had quite the haul when she left.
(MY AUNT IS AN AMAZING QUILTER AND MADE HEIDI THIS CUTE QUILT)
The best part was laughing, hugging, talking and being together.
(Kori, Heidi (the guest of honor) and me!)
The energy was amazing. We laughed and talked until late into the night. I loved hearing my cousins talk about my aunt and her new husband and how she was acting like a 19 year old teenager- it was hilarious.
(LaRue, Karla, Janet- three sisters)
We caught up on the trials and blessings we are currently experiencing. The best part- I know all these women love me and I love them deeply. There is nothing like family. I know my grandma was smiling down on us.

Estes Park

2011-05-25T16:06:00.008-06:00

(some of the cousins!)

We drove to Denver for a long weekend of fun. First, on Wed. night I was lucky enough to meet up with my long time friend (a roommate from my first year of college)Denae, and have an awesome time at dinner catching up and talking away. I love our deep connection and how after weeks, months or years we can connect and it seems like it was just yesterday since we have seen each other. It was interesting talking as we are both going through some heavy things and realizing that life is hard, that we are adults and that although trials come we both still have amazing lives and are really blessed. (Unfortunately I didn't have my camera to get a picture of us:(

(Savannah and aunt Chalyse doing crafts)

The next day we met all of Ryan's family in Estes Park, CO at the YMCA Camp there for a family reunion. We were even lucky enough to have Christian there, Chalyse's fiance from Brazil! Unfortunately Cooper was sick the WHOLE time. He had the worst flu. I felt so bad for him because he had been there before with his cousins and was so excited to show us how fun this place was.

Each family stayed in their own cabin. The YMCA camp has tons of activities hourly for the kids. Different hikes, arts and crafts and all kinds of things. There is an indoor pool, game room, archery, fishing and arts and crafts building and lots of places to explore. My kids loved every minute.
(Luka painting his rubber band gun!)

They loved the arts and crafts building-
(Cooper painting his rubber band gun!)

the boys made rubber band guns, Savannah made jewelry box, Cannon even painted a little race car, then they tie dyed shirts.
(Cannon making art with his boogers HA HA)

Cooper would go to some activities but they would wipe him out and I would go back to the cabin with him- he was a trooper!
( AN ELK blowing us a kiss )

There were a TON of elk walking all over like they owned they place- which they do- its their home:) Cannon would chase them trying to pet them. He loved them- he is for sure my 1/2 animal 1/2 human kid!
(Bono singing to me......)
On Saturday night Ryan and I left our kids with his parents and drove into Denver for the U2 concert. We have had our tickets forever! They were for last June but the concert was delayed due to Bono having back surgery a year ago.
(a terrible picture with our phone camera)
The concert was at the mile high stadium with almost 70,000 people! It was so awesome and there wasn't an empty seat. This was our third concert together (Ryan's fourth) and it was AMAZING.
(amazing set for the concert)
We had a great time- the weather was perfect and we stood and rocked out the whole time. And laughed at the crazy 50 year old couple that was smoking pot RIGHT in front of us the whole concert (WHAT THE.....) Bono seriously amazes me. I love his energy, his politics and the whole show. I love THE EDGE.... he cracks me up for some reason. Everything was so good. It was nice to get away with Ryan and have an awesome time.
(my little guy loves to have a stick!)

Mostly, I love going to the mountains like that. Being in nature. Spending time with my family and being reminded of the simple yet most important things-

family, and being together in beautiful places. That there is indeed a GOD that created amazing and magnificent places for us to enjoy.
Ryan's brother Zac and his cute family.......
(Thanks to Zac and Gina for putting it together:)

California get away

2011-05-23T10:41:00.005-06:00

I was lucky enough to have a private get away a few weeks ago. Ryan knew with all of the stress and things we are going through right now that I needed a few days to MYSELF. That is so rare and unusual. I love being with my family but I never have ME time which is also very crucial. SO, I was able to fly off to CA and visit to of my friends that I have known for a long long time. I flew into Oakland where Shana lives- I have known her since kindergarten (so crazy!).

She lives in Oakland with her husband Derek and has two beautiful children, Maren (2) and Hayden (3 months)and her mom. Jamie (I have known since we were 10) was also there, to spend time with us.

We spent two days at Shana's house relaxing, shopping, eating out, talking and I loved it. It was so nice not having to keep a schedule, cook meals, answer the phone, take care of other people, etc. I loved holding Hayden, talking about everything under the sun- and speaking of SUN- I got to see it, feel it and enjoy it. It has been a terrible spring in Utah and it was perfect weather in Oakland. We sat outside and I soaked it up. On Sat. it was Jamie's 34th Bday. Her and I ran 10 miles- we are both training for 1/2 marathons right now. It was fun to run together and accomplish that distance!

On Sunday Jamie and I drove to the valley and I stayed at her house for a couple of days. I was able to drive over and see my long time friend Melanie. We have known each other since we were babies! I was able to meet her first child- Payton.

She is so beautiful. She is 5 months old and full of smiles and life. It was fun to chat with Melanie. She is so smart and beautiful and I love that no matter how long it has been since I have seen her it feels like it has only been minutes.

Also- later on Sunday night my dear friend Teresa came to Jamies house with her two children and husband. She was my babysitter all growing up (although she looks the same age as me now!) She is only 7 years older than me and we have a very special and deep bond. She started baby sitting me when I was 5 and practically raised Julie and I . She was a very important part of our childhood. It was very special and emotional to see her. I also loved seeing her beautiful children.

I loved staying at Jamie's house. She is a very creative and busy person. Her home is full of amazing things she has made. She is very organized and has 3 amazing daughters. I really wished we lived closer so our two oldest daughters could be best friends- I think their personalities would favor each other so well! Jordyn (Jamie's oldest- made me this cute card!)

I spent Monday going to Jamie's shop that she makes lots of crafts for and works at. IT was full of amazing things. I could have spent all day there shopping and buying things! Next I went and visited her parents and sister. I love being with them. I grew up with them and have a very special love for them. I wanted to stay all week and talk to them. They are very special and amazing people to me. They have taught me so much and I admire them greatly. I also loved Lindy's baby. She is so beautiful! (Can you tell I loved all the baby time!)

My trip went by too quickly. It was much needed and very special to me. I can't tell Ryan how much I appreciated it. I know it was a sacrifice for him to have to be home alone with 4 kids for 4 days! Also- Thanks Shana and Jamie!

I don't want my kids to grow up......

2011-05-16T16:07:00.003-06:00

Ryan and I went to dinner on Saturday night. While eating a group of teenagers walked in who were obviously out for "prom". I was literally appalled at the dresses the girls were wearing. They were strapless- not only strapless but these girls had HUGE boobs that were hanging out on the sides on the top, at every angle possible. I asked Ryan "so, as a teenage boy, if you had a date wearing that dress what would you be thinking about all night." His response, " that I was going to be touching a lot of boobs." Seriously- that is what I expected his response to be- I then proceed to go on my soap box of: first, do the girls not have any respect for their daughter sending them out of the house like that- does the dad not remember that as a teenager all he thought with was his weenie- I mean lets be real. Second, does the girl not have any SELF respect- they all looked horrible- not even cute, the dresses were too small and not flattering, I will admit I have seen some strapless dresses that I have thought were beautiful- these dresses said one thing "look at my TITS". Lastly, I told Ryan if my SON went to pick up his date and she was dressed like that, we would be doubling. If you think I am kidding, you are DEAD wrong. I told him that when my son's ask girls to Prom I will tell them that they would have a contingency clause that they could not wear a strapless dress! My first and foremost responsibility is to save my children, PERIOD. I don't care how embarrassing I am, how weird I am, how much of a prude I am- that is what these LAST days and times are going to need.

AAHHH, I feel much better.

MOTHER'S DAY

2011-05-09T16:59:00.003-06:00

My mother's day was wonderful! Savannah was so excited.... First, she brought me home a beautiful plant from school (her teacher is amazing) with a cute certificate she filled out all about me. Next, at her church activity days she made me a beautiful necklace. Her leaders are amazing and helped them. Cooper made me a cute card at school with flowers that had jobs on them I could pick from a bouquet each day for chores he would do. He was very proud of himself when he actually did the chore! Luka hugged me and kissed me (this is a rare treat). Savannah helped Cannon learn how to say "happy Mama Day". The kids with help from their dad got me some "toms". THEN..... Ryan's dad made sure to invite us up for a fancy dinner of fresh lobster, shrimp, crab and salmon. It was amazing and so yummy! We were stuffed.......

I am so lucky to have 4 wonderful children. I really makes Mother's day special. I feel it a privilege and blessing to be their mother. I am so far from perfect and pray daily I am not messing them up! I am learning and growing just as much as they are. They have taught me the true meaning of love, selflessness and sacrifice.

I am lucky to have an amazing mother of my own. She is one of a kind. She is full of kindness, love and gratitude. She has open arms to anyone. She unselfish and has blessed so many lives. She is so fun and has so many talents. I love to laugh and cry with her. I know she will never leave me and will stand by my side through anything. She is the best Grammy and my children absolutely adore her. She is the most unselfish person I know. She has sacrificed so many things for me- more than I will ever know.

Next, I am so blessed to have an amazing mother in law. She is truly my friend. I love talking to her and being with her. She too is a very kind and selfless woman, always giving to others and full of love. She has taught me many things and I value our friendship so much. She is a wonderful grandma and spends so much time doing fun things with our kids. I am so blessed to have her in my life!

Our Easter BEST!

2011-05-07T17:42:00.002-06:00

The kids favorite part of their baskets were new goggles- they can't wait to use them if it ever gets warm enough!

Trying to take a family picture is impossible- seriously.

Easter Egg Hunt

2011-04-27T13:35:00.007-06:00

We had the best Easter egg hunt in our neighborhood. First there was a great breakfast, with all the food you could ask for - and it wasn't too early either.

Next, they put the kids in different age brackets and while they waited for their turn to go hunt eggs they got to play games and be entertained. Then when it was their turn to go they each got 9 eggs.

Luka was so funny, he forgot what the egg hunt was all about- when he discovered there was candy in his plastic egg he was so excited!

Cannon found out there was candy in the plastic egg and started throwing his on the ground so they would break open and he could get the candy out! His aunts were good to help him on his hunt:) Savannah, Cooper and Ava had fun on the three legged race and then finding their eggs. It was a fun morning.

Next, we came home and did our traditional egg dying.

Julie and i had fun boiling the eggs- as you all know I HATE, eggs so I stay clear and the smell seriously grosses me out.

Julie can always get a good laugh out of us though.

Becca was the pro with her nieces and nephews in the decorating department though- they loved the faces she put on the eggs.

Next, we did an egg hunt of our own in out yard.

The kids loved hunting the eggs and doubling their candy find. It was a great Saturday. Especially because daddy was kind enough to stay home with the kids that night so the sisters could have a fun girls night out with sushi and cookies:)

PS Becca took all the pictures so she isn't in any. I am sad!!! This is the only one I found her in, the one she took of the new "toms" she got HA HA

Birthday FUn

2011-04-24T22:44:00.005-06:00

.First, why the thought never occurred to me that Cooper's birthday might fall on Easter- I don't know, but this year it did. When I told him it would- he was so excited. It just meant that much more celebrating all in one day!

This year was his "off" year for a birthday party.... HA HA. His dad is a softy sooooo, we ended up going to the amazing African Cats movie with 18 of our closest friends and family members on Friday to start the birthday weekend celebrations!

Cooper was lucky to be accompanied by Grandma (her actual bday that day) and Grandpa Robinson, Uncles Casey and Colin, Aunts Julie, Becca and Jenny, Cousins - Ava, John and Eli, all of our family and then he got to bring three friends- Blake, Cole and Aiden.

It was fun- I loved the movie, seriously amazing. After the movie we all came home and had pizza and ice cream sundaes (no cake for Coop!) AND, Grandma and Grandpa Clark came too for dinner and to wish Coop a happy birthday.

Then on his actual birthday (and Easter Sunday) we had Ryan's parents, his brother Justin and his wife Janet and their kids, Ryan's brothers, Casey and Colin, my sisters, Becca and Julie (and Ava) all over for a yummy cafe Rio feast (Cooper's favorite dinner).

It was lots of fun! A great Easter and birthday celebration:)

Today is Cooper's SEVENTH birthday

2011-04-24T22:40:00.004-06:00

Dear Cooper,

Seven years ago we drove to the hospital to have our second child, but our FIRST baby boy. I was nervous- I had no idea what to do with a little boy. You were born and had SO much hair. It stuck out all over- I was immediate in LOVE. You cried, you cried, you cried. But we loved you any way. Your smile melted our heart and you became so chubby, I loved to squeeze you and kiss you all over.

You are still my cuddly boy. Sometimes you will sneak into bed with me at 4 or 5 in the morning saying you had a bad dream. I am secretly happy because I love to snuggle with you AND I am glad you still need me to comfort you.

You little body is bursting with so much spirit you don't know what to do sometimes. Your energy radiates through your whole being and I know that if you channel it well you will do amazing things, you will change lives, and you will be a leader.

You have a tender heart. I love to watch you teach Luka new things or hug your cousin Eli and comfort him. I love to see you take Cannon by the hand and play with him. I like when you sit by Savannah and let her read to you. My heart leaped this morning when I could hear you and Savannah sitting together in the living room giggling and being the best friends that you are.

Your eyes sparkle. They are so beautiful and full of life. Those eye lashes are like a fuzzy caterpillar, thick and brown. I can get lost in them, they always tell me a story.

This year has been a challenge for you. You learned how vulnerable you are. That your body is fragile. That death can happen to anyone. You endured pain and fear. BUT you learned that you are strong. That when you pray and lean on your family and your Father in Heaven you can make it through anything. As a result you have born your testimony in Sacrament meeting. I have seen you feel the spirit and testify of the gospel. I hope you will always remember that you are amazing, that you are loved by GOD and your parents more than you will ever know. That you are brilliant, strong and can do anything you want in this world.

I love you for always,
Mom

Cooper's birthday questionnaire......

2011-04-23T22:07:00.002-06:00

Cooper turns SEVEN on Easter. Here is our traditional birthday questionnaire.

If you could have one super-power, what would it be? Be invisible

· What was the last chore you did? Put socks in the dirty clothes basket

· What is your favorite song? Love Story by Taylor Swift

· What's your favorite food? Hawaiian Haystacks of Course!

· What's the nicest thing you've done for someone in your family lately? (This is hardest one….) Gave my mom a back rub

· What makes you mad? I have to do a lot of chores

· Where would you like to go on vacation next year? Disneyland

· Who's the smartest person in your family? Dad Why? Because he is the biggest.

· How are you like your dad? We are both boys, duh

· How are you like your mom? That one is hard, we both like to cuddle

· What's one thing that your dad has that you'd like to develop? A good dad like he is

· What's one thing that Dad always said to you? I love you

· What's one thing that you and Dad did together that you'll always remember? Play golf together

· If you had a million dollars, what's the first thing you'd buy? Sunglasses

· How do you know that I (mom) love you? You give me kisses

· What's your favorite cereal? Special K with Strawberries, I love that stuff!

· What's your favorite movie? The Sorcerers Apprentice

· What's your favorite vegetable? Carrots

· What personal item that you would never give away? Rib Stick

· What's your favorite game? Clue

· What's your favorite book? The Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Bell

· What food would you eat every day if you could? Hawaiian Haystacks

· If you could choose a different name, what would it be? Cole

· What's the scariest thing you've ever done? Go to the hospital when I fell

· If you could eat at any restaurant for the rest of your life, where would it be? Fire House or Chuck Arama

· What's your favorite candy bar? Hershey

· What's the last thing that you did that you were proud of? Bear my testimony in Church

· What's the best age to be? 8

· What's your favorite holiday? Christmas

· What's the best present you ever got? Rib Stick

· What's your greatest word of wisdom at age 7? Always say sorry when you do something wrong

18 months old......

2011-04-16T20:38:00.003-06:00

I am about a week late getting to this but Cannon is officially 18 months old! I can't believe this, I know I talk about this quite a lot but I feel like my kids are growing up way too fast. Cannon is my baby, the last, the caboose! So with each milestone I feel a mix of emotions. Excited for the new stage he is entering and all the things he is learning along with deep heartache that we won't be experiencing the stage he is leaving again with our own children. With grandchildren and nieces and nephews but not with our own- weird!

At 18 months Cannon is changing so much. He has always tried to be older and do things faster than his actual age but in the last few weeks he has started to say many words. He tries to say the beginning of any word you ask him to say but he loves to say:
Dog
Horse
Ma (mom)
Da (dad)
Turtle
Dance
Ba (bottle)
Bane (blanket)
More
Eat
Yay (and claps while he does it)
No no
Ought oh
Hi
Bye (and waves)
This (and points)
MMMMM (when eating chicken nuggets, bottle or candy!)
Kiss

Cannon has been my hardest kid to feed. My other kids would eat anything so this is new territory for me and a bit frustrating. I am sure his iron is SO LOW because he mainly will only drink milk and drinks gallons a week. He still has a bottle- My other kids were done right at 12 months, you can tell he is my fourth and final! He likes yogurt some days, will only eat chicken nuggets for lunch ( I am not kidding). He likes Ground beef and chicken cooked all ways. He likes many kinds of beef cooked all ways. He likes some fruit. A few kinds of crackers and there you have it. No ham, no cheese, no bread, seriously a pain. AND THE KICKER is he has to feed himself. If you don't let him he won't eat it. SERIOUSLY- and not in a high chair- are you kidding, he thinks he is at least 5 and must sit at the table with the rest of us and eat with utensils and make a HUGE mess. OH how I love my strong willed, spirited children:)

Cannon loves to dance. The second he hears any music he squats, starts shaking his head and lately starts opening and closing his hands so fast. And sometimes if it is a really good song he starts head banging and singing at the top of his lungs. AND- it is not to get attention, sometimes I will be driving along and singing to my music and I will catch a glimpse of him in the rear view mirror and the kid is breaking it down! He just loves feeling the beat. It is so cute. And he chants "dance, dance" with the biggest smile.

The kids love to make Cannon run. They will make him chase them and come up with any way to make him run- why you might ask? Because it makes his chubby little cheeks bounce up and down and it is so funny. He runs on his tip toes so fast and his cheeks just bounce away. We all laugh so hard.

Cannon is our only toe head. Serious blond hair going on and beautiful blue eyes. Very fair skin. A smile to light up any day. He is so chubby and cute. I can still get a really good cuddle out of him and I love that. Holding him so tight and feeling him fall asleep in my arms. I try to drink it right up because I know he will out grow it so fast.

Cannon loves to give me the biggest hugs. He wraps his arms right around my neck and squeezes so tight. And when he is in the mood he says "kiss" and he can pucker right up and kisses my whole face. It is so cute. He also loves when I kiss his toes. In fact, one day I found him taking off his socks and kissing his own toes!

This little boy is a pure joy. We love him so much. He is our giant toddler- pure teddy bear! He is into everything- learning and loving every minute of it. He never stops moving except to sleep. He loves to be outside- He loves the park. He loves to slide. He loves wrestling with his brothers and every day when Savannah walks in from school he runs up to her and hugs her so tight but most of all he loves his DADDY. He only wants his daddy when he is around.

Girls Night Out!

2011-04-11T16:55:00.003-06:00

Ear Number one!
Ear Number Two!
A Happy Girl! Mom Cleaning her ears for the first time. Don't mind ALL MY WRINKLES.... Julie told me I just shouldn't smile any more...... HA HA
During Spring Break Savannah and I had a fun girls night out. She decided we could invite aunt Julie along too!

First Savannah picked dinner at Noodles and Company. She loves the Cesar Salad and Tomato soup. During dinner I asked her who she thought the cutest boy in her class was. Her cheeks turned bright red and she got so embarrassed. She doesn't like talking about that stuff at all. But she was happy to tell us all about Ava's boyfriend! HA HA. But I must digress and tell you that on the way some crazy boys tried to pick up on us on the free way. Julie kept saying "snoop dog is wants my phone number" and Savannah asked why we thought he looked like "snoopy". We were laughing so hard!

Next, we headed to the mall to find Savannah the perfect Easter Dress. Savannah is easy to shop with- she knows what she wants and finds it quickly. She found the cutest skirt and shirt! Next we went to get her ears pierced....... Savannah was excited to get this done. I told her she had to wait until she was 10 like I had to but I gave in and let her get it done early. She was so brave. She didn't cry at all. She took deep breaths and was so cute about it.

Next- We looked for the perfect shoes. AND- Savannah found the cutest shoes to go with her Easter dress. I am in love with them and wished there were some in my size! I think Savannah loved her special night out.

Lastly- we had to get a Mexican Hot chocolate at the Nordstrom Cafe and a sugar cookie- YUM. I love these special dates with my girl. They are so fun. She probably thinks me and Julie are crazy but I want her to know I am fun and wild. Not an old lady mom.

When we got home Savannah was so excited to show her dad her ears and new clothes. After we tucked her in Ryan and I sat on the couch and felt a little sad at how fast our little princess is growing up! We are so lucky to have her:)

Happy Thoughs......

2011-04-10T19:42:00.002-06:00

Can make hard days brighter.

My cute grandpa Clark in his army uniform

My sweet grandma Clark, the cutest little girl! I love her bows and sweet smile:)

ZOO

2011-04-06T14:59:00.004-06:00

Spring break......... Utah doesn't know what Spring means, but we do. SOOO we bundled up for some fun anyway and headed to the zoo with some fun friends. Cannon is into animals and it was fun to see his excitement. He kept calling the elephant's "horse's". It was a great day with my kids. They are my true joy right now.

2011-04-05T22:09:00.003-06:00

One year ago I started running. I had never been a runner before. I had never run more than a mile without wanting to lay down and die. I am NOT kidding. Running is not in my blood. I have never had a desire to run. It was always HARD for me on the day in PE when we had to do the mile run. OR when I played sports and had to run for warm ups I would find any way possible to cheat and get out of running. I HATED it.

For some reason I had a strong desire to do something that I felt was impossible. Also- I was SICK of being fat. I'm not kidding. I had lost about 20 pounds on weight watchers after having my 4th baby but was at a stand still. I knew I was done having babies and didn't want to live the rest of my life over weight like I had been living the previous 7 years.

I can remember that exactly a year ago on April 5th I started with a trainer. I weighed 149 pounds. I wanted to lose at least 14 more pounds after the 20 I had lost so far. I started weight lifting and doing cardio and running. I could barely run ONE mile without dying. It was hard. I would get side aches. My knee would hurt. I would get frustrated and wonder how people would put their selves through the hell of running and say they enjoyed it.

Then a few more months passed and my friend came to visit. She brought some old videos she had and I was on them. I had visited her with Cooper and Savannah when they were really little. Cooper was about 6 months old and I was so FAT. I mean seriously over weight. We laughed but inside I wanted to DIE. I realized that for more than 50% of the time Ryan knew me I had been over weight. That is not how I wanted to live my life with him or my kids. I decided then and there I would never be that fat again. I didn't want my kids to ever remember me like that and I didn't ever want to FEEL like I did when I watched that or saw myself like that. And I wanted to be physically fit. I also remember a lesson in church recently where the teacher said that if we could control our physical body and those urges then we could better control our spiritual body and have a stronger spiritual sense. I decided to run a 1/2 marathon and do it. No turning back. No matter how hard it was. Even if I had to do it all by myself.

I have written that story. It was a great learning experience for me- health wise, mentally and spiritually. I conquered a lot of things and over came a lot of physical battles as well. Am I over all my bad habits? Heck no. But after one year of consistently exercising, and eating better I lost well over 14 more pounds- I weigh less then I have ever weighed in my adult life. And that is not the most important part- it is more that I FEEL better and I am more physically fit. I have healthier habits in my eating and exercising. Last weekend I ran 8 miles and it didn't kill me at all. I am going to run another 1/2 marathon in June. I haven't drank soda in over 4 months. I am much more aware of what I eat and hat I don't eat and I enjoy being more physically active with my kids- that is AWESOME! It is my responsibility to teach them to eat and exercise right. In fact- Ryan and I LIKE going on hikes with our kids. We went on a vacation for our 10 year anniversary that was BASED on hikes and physical activity. It is a life style change that we want to incorporate and teach our kids. It feels better to be healthy and active. Ryan is even on an indoor soccer team now. I have rubbed off on him a little:)

I just feel happy that I have kept this commitment for a year now. It is easy to give up on these kind of goals. They take A LOT of time but I feel that they are important so I have put them high on the priority list. And little by little it has paid off. I also love to have anyone come join me or run with me. My sister Julie is doing now and it is awesome to see her success. She did the 8 miles on Saturday and I wanted to cry for her I was so happy she did it. It was awesome! I have other friends who are doing it too- I am so proud of them (good job Jamie and Lindy and Brooke:)

Here is one of my favorite quotes about running that I always have to remember: "Now if you are going to win any battle you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do. The body will always give up. It is always tired in the morning, noon, and night. But the body is never tired if the mind is not tired." George S Patton, U.S. Army General, 1912 Olympian

2011-03-31T08:55:00.003-06:00

I am going through the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with in my life right now. I want to thank all the friends and family who have called and expressed love and concern. One of my dear friends, Jamie, sent me an amazing article. I am far away from a lot of it. But part of it really touched me this morning and I wanted to share it. The article is called .....

The Awakening

By Sonny Carroll

"......Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you FAKE a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

A word about the Power of Prayer: In some of my darkest, most painful and frightening hours, I have prayed not for the answers to my prayers or for material things but for my "God" to help me find the strength, confidence and courage to persevere; to face each day and to do what I must do.

Remember this: "You are an expression of the almighty. The spirit of God resides within you and moves through you. Open your heart, speak to that spirit and it will heal and empower you." My "God" has never failed me."

Pie Crust

2011-03-27T21:57:00.002-06:00

On Saturday I went to my grandparents house in Logan. It was cleaning day. Emptying day. Pick and choose day. My sweet grandma died over two years ago and my grandpa will soon join her. He is now in a nursing home. He will never go back to his home. His children have decided to sell his house. SO- the family went in and divided his things and emptied out the home.

I went with so many mixed emotions. My mind, heart and shoulders are heavy with burdens and life's trials right now. I wished so bad my grandma could throw the door open and I could run into her arms and just have her hug me, the good kind of hug. You know, the kind that makes you feel safe and sure that life will somehow be good once again. Anyway- I walked into her house and that smell overwhelmed me. Her smell. The smell I have always loved that is only the smell I get when I go to there home. I tried to literally drink it in with my nose, knowing it would be the last time I would be in their home.

I was there with my aunts and uncles. We were going around and picking items and things we wanted to take home with us. It felt so unusual and surreal. So final. An ending. An ending that I didn't like. I wasn't ready to be at the final chapter. Sometimes when I am reading a really good book and I know I am getting to the end I will put off reading the last few chapters for a week because I can't bear to see it end- I know, I am weird. But I felt the same way yesterday. I wanted to turn around and run. I wasn't ready for the final chapter. Going to my grandparents house was always such a special time for me and now it would be no more. Even at age 34 I am not ready for that yet. I need them, I need that routine, that comfort.

As we cleaned out their home we laughed and told stories or favorite moments. We came across old pictures and funny things. We found a stack of $2 bills in my grandma's dresser drawer under a news paper. We found an old list of goals my grandma had made- I loved seeing her writing and reading the simple goals she wrote: read my scriptures more, go to the temple more and I loved this one..... celebrate my birthday better!

As the day wore on more and more of my cousins showed up. I am the oldest of the grand kids and I have a deep love for my family. I always have. I love them all so much. I love seeing them and being with them and we do that less and less the older we get and the bigger our own little families grow. We all hugged and cried. We were sad to see the legacy of our grandparents ending. We looked through old pictures and laughed. We went through grandma's jewelry and got special things. I got my grandparent's missionary tags for my kids. They wore them to church with so much pride today!

As we were cleaning out the kitchen cupboards we found a home made pie crust that my grandma had made. Remember...... my grandma passed away over two years ago! So who knows how old that pie crust was. We all started laughing so hard. She was an amazing cook. And... she always had a pie crust ready in the cupboard for a treat. But the more I thought about it I wondered if my grandpa found that there, in the cupboard after my grandma died and couldn't bear to throw it away. It was just such a part of my grandma, such a part of their house, their kitchen. He kept things the way they were. He loved her so much!

I am a sentimental person. I got things not because I want THINGS but because they remind me of my grandparents. I have them in my house now and I can pass them on to my children. I can tell them stories about the legacy they have come from. We are storing some couches for my sister in our garage from my grandma's house. This morning as I walked by them to get in my car for church I caught the smell of my grandma's house coming from them. I hurried and put my nose right on them and breathed in deep. It smelled so good- like home. Like heaven, because my grandma was pure heaven. The most kind, loving, gentle person I have ever known. I know the smell will wear off quick but I am going to take advantage of it while I can.

When I drove away from their house yesterday I couldn't breathe. It was really hard. I knew it was the last time I would be there, in that special place I loved so much. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful family. But even more blessed by a loving Heavenly Father who has created a way for me to be with that family for eternity. I can't wait to be with my grandma again. She can give me the answer to how old that pie crust was!

2011-03-24T20:52:00.002-06:00

We are alive here at the Robinson House. Everyone has actually stayed pretty healthy (cross fingers). Life keeps marching on and there have been new stresses added. I think I tend to shy away from the blog when this is happening.

However- The other day as I felt a huge weight on my shoulders I tried to focus on all the happy sounds I was hearing around me. Here are some of the things I noticed and loved:

*Hearing Savannah sing while she played the piano was so cute. She is getting good and I loved listening to that while I fixed dinner.
*Listening to Ryan read Luka a book before he left for work the other morning. It only took a minute but it changed Luka's whole morning.
*Listening to Cannon make animal noises. He is getting really good at a cow, a pig, a dog and an owl.
*Hearing Cooper and his best friend Blake laughing so hard upstairs after school. They are so innocent and full of life.
*Hearing Luka say "Come here baby, I need to hold you for a while," to Cannon. He loves to take care of him and be his big brother.
*Hearing Cannon's little hum and he drinks his bottle. He drinks it so fast and still makes the happiest noises while he is sucking it down.
*Hearing my three boys splash in the tub and laugh so hard with each other. I created that....me.
*Laying by Luka when he falls asleep and hearing his breathing get deeper and deeper and turn into the cutest snore.
*Listening to Cannon squeal with delight when his brother and sister walk in the house after school. Then hearing his fat feet slap on the wood floor as he runs to them to give them hugs.

2011-03-07T12:38:00.001-07:00

I have posted about my friend Kelly and her amazing jewelry skills before. Well she has a new item out and it is so awesome. GO CHECK IT OUT. CLICK HERE and you can see it in her etsy shop. You will not be disappointed!

When things finally go your way.......

2011-03-06T19:03:00.003-07:00

Check out this wedding video of my friend Heather....... It is so cute. She just eloped with her new cute husband Phil. I am so happy for her. They had this video made. Click HERE to watch it.

I couldn't be happier for her. She is one of those people that truly deserves happiness. She is so kind, generous and loving. Finally the stars have aligned just for her. Hurray Heather! Enjoy every moment........

An update on Savannah......

2011-02-28T08:23:00.006-07:00

Savannah: She is now 8 1/2, which I can't believe. Some days I feel like I can literally see her growing before my eyes. She has long skinny legs and is tall for her age. I grew fast too. I think I was my full height by 8th grade- She is super skinny and I am so thankful for the jeans that you can tighten now days or I don't know what we would do! She loves playing with her American Girl Doll. I love her complete innocence. I want to protect her and keep her like that forever. Sometimes I am surprised at the questions she asks me, because I assume she knows more than I think she does but then I am grateful after that she doesn't know as much:)

Savannah is VERY smart. Thankfully she has a teacher aware of this who gives her harder spelling words like soliloquy and circumference and apathy and has her look up the meanings and write sentences with them as well. She is not used to being challenged, but it is good for her. She gets to go to a special class on Thursday for kids who test out of their grade level and she LOVES this class. They get more hands on projects and use different skills to learn. She also loves to read and is reading Harry Potter books, Nancy Drew and is reading the Roald Dahl books with Cooper each night as well (yes reading all three series at once).

She is the best helper. She is the best big sister. She plays wii with Cooper- any game HE chooses. She reads to Luka and helps him go to the bathroom or get snacks. Cannon runs as fast as he can to her when she gets home from school and hugs her so tight. She can always make him laugh. She helps me cook, clean, shop. You name it.

Savannah loves going to Activity Days for Church. She loves playing the piano- and is very good at it. She can read music quickly. Her and a friend are memorizing a duet to play at school for their talent show. She is in her 4th year of soccer and is very good. She is strong and a great runner. She is easy to like and I love watching her help anyone she can at school. I volunteer every Friday in her class for an hour and I love watching her laugh and smile and learn. Her teacher is amazing and gives Savannah lots of responsibility and expectations in school. It has been good for her. She gets straight A's and exceeds her goals every quarter. She had a goal of getting 36 points for AR reading this quarter and got 54.3 with 90%. She also writes amazing stories that are very sensitive and perceptive of things around her.

Savannah has great friends right now. They are all quite different and bring out different qualities and fun in her. She loves to spend time with Abbey, Taysia, Charley, Ava and Samantha. I love each of these girls and I am so thankful she has them. Friends are so important and these girls are good.

Savannah is a pleaser. Sometimes this gets her into trouble. She hasn't quite learned how to stand up for herself when she needs to- especially in a peer group. She is learning a few hard lessons about that right now. She is hard on herself which scares me. I love her so much and it is difficult to watch her learn some of these lessons. She is starting to enter the age where she is easily offended in our conversations- I hate that:) I try a calm approach but, tears come easily to her. She hates any form of criticism- she is a perfectionist (hmm I wonder where she got that?/one of the things I wish I didn't pass along....).

She is shy- some people wouldn't guess this but she doesn't like attention in the same way her brothers do. When I try to get her to do things that are more public- she frowns at me and wants to hide. She would rather die than have to be in front of a large crowd. I hope her confidence will grow, because she is amazing and so beautiful. She has so much to offer. We went to the grocery store one day. President Uchtdorf walked by us. I told Savannah she should introduce herself to him. That not many people get to meet an apostle. I thought for sure she wouldn't do it. She is way too shy. She walked right up to him and introduced herself. They had the cutest conversation. She smiled so big and shook his hand. I was so proud of her. I hope she always remembers how she felt and her confidence and His amazing smile and spirit.

Savannah has a great sense of humor. I love when she smiles at me from across the room. Her smile is so infectious and when you hear her laugh you can't help but laugh along. I love when we spend one on one time together. She loves to try new food and go to fun restaurants with me and shop. We stick together in our house full of boys! We need each other. I especially need her more than she will ever know. She teaches me things daily. She is so kind. So loving. So tender.

Savannah has her own testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. She loves church and submerges herself into primary and her lessons. She LOVES her teachers and becomes close to them very fast telling me all about them every Sunday. She tells me about her lessons and everything she learns. She loves to give the lesson in Family Home Evening and read the Friend. She has a strong spirit and I know she has great things to do during her life- I am so blessed to have her as a daughter.

Its a new day.....

2011-02-23T12:50:00.004-07:00

A girl can have PMS right? I was suffering majorly yesterday. Thanks to those of you who left nice comments and sent good vibes my way.

Today I took control. I was up and to the gym by 9 with my two little guys in tow. I even wore black spandex pants- whowouldvethunkit! I ran three miles in a respectable 33 minutes (remember I haven't ran for months!) I even kept clapping and cheering myself and Julie on. She was a little embarrassed but that I what big sisters are for, right?

We then surprised my friend- we took her two cutie pies for a couple of hours so she could have break. I had a house full of 4 wild boys- ages 4 and under for 2 hours. It was fun, loud, full of wrestling, growling, sword fights and all that stuff. Lunch was chicken nuggets, Cheetos, pears and Capri suns (thank goodness for the pears). I bowed out of that one! Oreos for dessert.

It is now One in the afternoon. Cannon is down for a nap. Luka is watching Dora- his fav! I can take a shower in PEACE! I am making Hawaiian Haystacks for dinner- the families favorite.

I have invited my girls on facebook to join me at 9pm for a Zumba party at the gym- so they can laugh at me. I have changed my attitude. I am in charge of it, right?

Last night I hugged my kids LONG and HARD before bed. I recommitted myself to being happy for me and them. To finding solutions not problems. I hope I can do it. Each day is new.

I just need to find someone to take a good picture of me and make me look good:O)

Raw ramblings on Tuesday

2011-02-22T12:40:00.003-07:00

I just need to ramble today I guess........

*I got a great phone call today with wonderful news... news from someone I thought I might not ever hear from this person. I am so happy for them all I can do is cry.

*All in the same day I feel great pain about one of my children. Ryan and I keep going back and forth. We don't know what to do for this child. How is parenting this hard already? We have no answers....... I feel so absolutely inadequate and incapable.

*I am in a church calling where I feel responsible for all 190 women in my ward. Just typing this makes me cry. How can I do this? As I read over their names I don't even know all of them. I want to. I pray for them. I know so many of them are silently suffering. They are under the radar. I am not doing enough. I feel overwhelmed and spread thin. I try to do something for at least one of them each day. But I know it is not enough.

* I started running again yesterday. I am SOOO out of shape! I have kept all of the weight off I lost last year and more. But I am out of shape. I wanted to DIE but I still ran for 30 minutes. I CAN and WILL do this.

*I looked at my face for a long time this morning. I am gettin OLD, people. I have a lot of wrinkles. I have never been striking or gorgeous. I am average. I accept that. But I have spots. I have lines. I have a big nose. I have a big fore head. I wanted to hide from the reflection. I concluded that it might be down hill fast from here. I have to sit in front of all these beautiful ladies at church. I hate that most about my calling. I hate that I have to get up and talk in front of them. It is really hard for me. This calling is definitely making me stretch. It is for my growth. But I guess the saying that from an average person comes BEAUTIFUL BABIES, so my children can thank me for that one day because I think they are way above average:) They are BEAUTIFUL. So I will spend my time looking at them and not myself:)

* To end on a more positive note- If you feel like it is a struggle some times to take your kids to church, at least they might not be screaming in Primary "I hate Jesus" Like my 3 year old does, so loud that even the Chorister can't be heard!

Valentines 2011

2011-02-16T13:33:00.004-07:00

(So stinkin cute!)

I love Valentines Day. I always have...... I think.....

Why?

*Well..... I love the idea of holiday where you tell people you love them. (No I don't need a reason to tell people I love them to all you Grinch's who don't like Valentine's. I tell people I love them all them time. I just like the idea that we are all doing it at once- ya know)

*About a week and a half before Valentine's Day I got Heart Attacked. My whole door was covered with hearts and quotes about love and service and it said- Katie Robinson- you are loved and wonderful. Then they rang the doorbell and left. I don't know who did it but I really needed that right now. It was so great. My kids were so excited. How awesome is that!

*I love making Valentine's with my kids. We always make home made Valentines and ship them off to people we love who live far away. Savannah and I started that tradition when she was 3. We love to frost cookies and give them to friends and spread the love!

*Ryan and I had our first "official" date on Valentines Day.

*He sends me Roses on Valentines Day. This year it was funny. He came home and was trying to be sneaky but I could tell he was looking all over and there weren't any flowers. He was really bummed. He said "I ordered you flowers.. Where are they?" I told him I hadn't received any. It was after 6. He called and the place said they were on their way that they were super busy. They came during dinner! Ryan explained to the boys that you always get your sweetheart flowers on Valentines. Cooper laughed so hard. Then he told Savannah and Ava they would receive lots of flowers from all their men on Valentines' they got huge smiles. (Ryan also gave me a massage gift certificate!)

*This year I made a special dinner for the whole family. We had Miss Ava too- it was a Monday night which is family night at our house so we chose to have our couple date on Tuesday night and celebrate with the whole family on Monday night. I made the families favorite- spaghetti. Then I made a special dessert for Ryan- trifle. My kids are picky dessert eaters. Cooper, Ava and Cannon liked it- Luka and Savannah didn't!

*I gave all the kids a special Valentine Present. They were so excited and then we watched a fun movie together- Secondhand Lions. Even Cannon loved it because it had animals. He screamed every time he saw the dogs and pig!

*Ryan took me to a fancy restaurant for our couple date. He usually does for Valentine's and this shows me that it is important to him to make me feel special.

*I love Valentines because it is my sweet Grandpa's birthday. He turned 85 this year. I tried to have him over for our fun dinner. He said no because he couldn't miss a very special program that was on at 7. I told him I could have him home in time but he didn't trust me. I asked him want the program was and he said Jeopardy. I was laughing to hard. He is so cute. We held off visiting him until the next morning so we didn't ruin the "special" program. My mom said she always loved her dad's birthday because he was a principal and he would get tons of treats for his birthday and share them with her.

My heart ached this time when I visited him. He is so fragile and can barely move around due to arthritis. He can barely hear too. We were having a yelling match! If someone watched us they would probably laugh. But I am glad I live so close to him and can visit him.

My kids call him "great" Harris and love to see him. Luka wouldn't take a picture with him this time.

Julie's tradition......

2011-02-14T13:26:00.005-07:00

What would Valentines Day be without Julies cookies?

Well...... It wouldn't be Valentines Day!

Eat The Marshmallows First.......

2011-02-14T10:07:00.004-07:00

I eat lunch with the two cutest boys ever. The other day I was watching them eat. Thinking how time will move too fast and before I know it I will have to sit here by myself and eat lunch. It will be too quiet- I won't like it. Well- I might like it once in a while, but not every single day.

Anyway. As I watched them, this was a free for all lunch day. Luka went with lucky charms for lunch (don't have a heart attack mom!). So Cannon had to have some too. He takes his cereal dry. As I watched him he ate all the marshmallows first. With each bite he would smile and say "MMMM" and squeal with delight. After the the marshmallows were gone he moved on to the grain cereal portion and ate those. He even smiled while he ate those. I loved watching his chubby hands work. I made him some Ramen noodles and ate those too. Yes, by himself. Not in a high chair I might add. Cannon is 16 months old but thinks he is at least 3 like Luka, but maybe even older. He insists on sitting in a chair at the counter or table. Some days he wins, some days I win and force him in the high chair. He always wins on feeding himself. Eating like the rest of us. Most days it is so tiring. So frustrating. So messy. But he is so delighted with himself. It is a good thing he is so cute!

As I thought about him eating the marshmallows first I realized that we should all do this more often in life. Sometimes we think we have to save the best things for last, the dessert at the end of the meal, the reward after the job is complete, the trophy for the finish line. Why are we so rigid? This little one year old boy doesn't know the rules yet. He still ate every thing but he went for the good stuff first. What if there was not enough time to finish the meal- at least he got the goods! I am going to try and do this more often. I might surprise my kids once in a while and even serve dessert first- can you imagine the look on their faces. So fun! I am so grateful for my cute one year old and the lessons he teaches me daily.