I almost snapped this week- almost. I have those moments you know. We all do- even if you won't admit it I will. Everything gets so stressful and complicated. I know I make it 100 times worse than it is too- life. With my expectations and agreeing to do so many things and then everything starts rolling in and it is crazy. I can't even breathe sometimes. But, I survive. I breathe. Even if it means crying and crying and feeling a little sorry for myself.
I especially hate when I get sick in the midst of it all too. That's what happened. I got ear aches, a cough and bad head aches. It makes me feel so human. Then sad things happened to people I love and when I can't control that I feel so helpless. I hate pain. It really stinks.
I was talking to a really smart person on Friday. Someone that knows my brain pretty well. He asked me why I like to help people. Why I care so much about my friends and family members, especially if it complicates my life more and adds so much more stress, heart ache and pain. As I have reflected on this I have a million different answers. Some come easy, some come hard. I don't really have a one lined simple answer. But, the older I get there is one word that can be the fast answer- LOVE. As I age this word has evolved so much and become so many different things with so many different people and it becomes complicated and beautiful all in one breath. But I'd like to think that although LOVE is hard and draining it is fulfilling and easy, it is wonderful and enduring. LOVE is binding and soft. LOVE is happy and sad, it is funny and mean. LOVE is why I do what I do everyday. Even if it makes weeks like last week so hard. Even if it makes me cry and crazy. Even if it breaks my heart and wonder why I have a Jerry Springer family. LOVE- I wouldn't trade it for the world.
3 comments:
Katie! I wish I could come sing for you! I would do it in a heartbeat, but it is Landon and Daniels choir concert tomorrow night and of course I can't miss that! I'm so sorry. Unless it's next Tuesday, then I could! Good luck- I'm sure it'll work out somehow!
You know it! LOVE is everything! And with it comes the risk of pain, and of hurt. We are told that we must have opposition in all things. I teaches us to appreciate the good things in life so much more. Those who do not fully let themselves love because they don't want to risk having pain are the ones that miss out on life's most beautiful moments. So you just keep on loving. And, by the way, it is healthy to cry. We all need it. I love you so much, Katie! You are an incredible woman! You do so much for so many. That is why you have so much joy and your life is full and satisfying. You are teaching your little ones through example the the things that matter most.
Thanks again for hosting my shower. I really appreciated it. I'm sure it did nothing but exacerbate your stress but it was great. You're awesome. :)
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